toxic jobs

Personal stories about toxic jobs and workplace woes.

June 04, 2012

between job vulnerability

Ruth, 35, lives as a caregiver for her mom and when she lost her job and with it the income her mom relied on for all the little luxuries of life, their relationship deteriorated and she became very vulnerable.

“What I need right now during the depression phase of job loss is comfort and support and time to get myself together,” says Ruth, “but my mom is incapable of providing this type of support and by telling me I’m useless and harassing me to go and get another job before I am ready to do so the old woman is cutting off her nose to spite her face by making it more difficult than ever for me to get my act together.”

“Right now I am very vulnerable and I don’t want to get out there and arouse in others a desire to feed off my weakness,” explains Ruth. “Someone who belonged to a fringe religious sect once crowed to me about being able to ‘pull them in when they’re at their weakest’ and I don’t want that sort of support; but then again I don’t want the ‘kick them when they’re down’ sort of treatment I’m getting from my mother."

“The job search process requires a positive and enthusiastic attitude which I don’t have right now,” explains Ruth, “and in constantly feeding me negative beliefs about myself my mother is reducing me to a scared little kid, throwing me back into a negative childhood socialization pattern from which I may never recover.”

“No employer gives jobs, even menial jobs, to scared little kids,” says Ruth, “and while I am between jobs I need to take special care of my mental and physical health in order to make sure that I can get a job when I am ready to do so.”

“Being forced into job hunting while in a vulnerable situation has caused many unhappy people to become unhappier,” says Ruth. “They either take a job with a cunning employer who simply wishes to exploit them and profit from their labor; or they sink into deeper depression after countless job rejections.”

“I don’t want to be forced into anything. I want time to get myself together. I want comfort and support, not criticism,” says Ruth, “and if my mom doesn’t lay off me I’m likely to snap.”

Read more of Ruth’s story:

suicidal caregiver

do self-help books trump friends?

self-help books boost survival

daughter raised to take care of mom

victimized then fired

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