Act your age

Gloria believes that some companies are looking for mature workers to specifically balance their workforce, and that being the case older women who act and dress ‘young’ are doing themselves a disservice.

“Most workplaces today have an over-abundance of young things and smart companies want some old things to tip the scales a bit,” says Gloria. “And by ‘old’ I mean women who act their age and dress conservatively.”

"Younger workers also appreciate senior workers more if they look and act their age," explains Gloria. "And smart employers understand this."

"If you hold a senior position, or if you are looking for one," advises Gloria, "then it is worth bearing in mind that being proud of your age and your mature 'look' is an admirable quality upon which your earning capacity may depend."

"We should really forget about the wrinkles and sagging skin,” says Gloria. “Instead, we should look and act our age with pride because it took us 40 plus years to achieve that face and the maturity that goes with it."

"Get a plaque that commemorates your age and place it prominently in your workplace,” says Gloria. “Let the young things see that 40 plus is fantastic and you have no desire to look, dress and act like they do. You're all grown up now. Stop trying to be like them and start being yourself."

"In other words play up your age to the hilt," says Gloria. "Shout out from the rooftops that you are 40-plus and proud of it and employers will take notice!”

Read more by Gloria on this issue:

the barbie generation
don’t deny menopause

Rolling over the oldies

Geraldine is a fit and healthy 54-year old woman who expected to be in gainful employment until she was at least 65, but she’s seen younger ‘older’ women rolled over in the workplace and she’s fearful of becoming unemployed.

"Forty-up women who are in employment work under a lot of stress these days knowing that they are considered to be hogging jobs that younger workers need," explains Geraldine. "The flimsiest of excuses are given to get rid of older workers, but everyone knows what's really going on."

"Okay," concedes Geraldine, "it may be time to say Roll Over Beethoven for the women in their 60s, and possibly late 50s, too, but where do these women go? How are they supposed to support themselves? How can they be expected to compete for jobs with their children if not their grandchildren?"

"With anything up to 20 years to go before becoming eligible for a pension, women like me are in real trouble," sighs Geraldine. "How are we supposed to support ourselves when nobody is willing to give us jobs?"

"Recently laid-off after many years in the same job, some of these women don't even know what a CV or a resume is," says Geraldine. "A resume, a portfolio of one's work experience and achievements is a 1990s thing, and guess what employers expect to see right at the top of your resume?"

"Your age, of course!" laughs Geraldine.

"No woman in her right mind would want to bring daughters into the world knowing they are going to be washed up at 50, 40 or 35 while men the same age are often just getting started in lucrative careers.”

"When young women refuse to have babies, men take notice," says Geraldine. "That trend is already evident and we're responsible for it."

"We're telling our daughters that the whole Women's Lib Movement was a scam. My generation got sucked in by the equality myth. My daughter's generation won't."

Read more by Geraldine on this issue:

mom's army

Sad sacks at work

As sympathetic as co-workers and supervisors can be, there is a limit to what they can tolerate and having a sad sack or a mad cow in their midst is not good for morale or productivity and Delores, 48, needs to seek medical or psychological help for her problems.

“Right now, I’m going through a difficult separation from an abusive husband – as well as dealing with the menopause,” explains Delores, “and as much as I believe in keeping my professional and personal lives separate, is not always possible to keep quiet about terrible things that are happening in your private life when you have to spend 8 hours with people every day.”

“It just spills over whether you mean it to or not.”

“I did advise my supervisor of my separation before the terrible incident at work happened – when my abusive husband turned up at work and harassed me,” says Delores, “and she was sympathetic, but it was only after the incident happened that I was offered leave from work.”

“In abusive marital situations such as mine it takes more than a few days or a few weeks to sort things out,” sighs Delores. “It takes years. Sometimes it takes a lifetime.”

“If my ex is not going to spend time in prison for his assaults on me, then I will definitely have to seek medical and psychological help for the incredible stress I have to endure from him,” says Delores. “Also, it’s not fair that my co-workers have to be exposed to the troubles in my life - I am sure they have their own problems to deal with.”

Read more by Delores on this situation:

mad cows

a wounded, divided life

menopausal mad cow

mad old cows at work

workplace dinosauresses

Audrey, 45, has reluctantly come to terms with why older women are seen as workplace 'dinosauresses' whereas older men are more likely to be seen as mature, experienced, wise and desirable employees.

"It has a lot to do with women, generally, being employed on looks," says Audrey. "Everyone accepts that a younger woman is more desirable than an older woman, but there’s far more to it than this."

“Adult children in their 20s mostly have mothers in their 40s, and when you put these two age groups together in a workplace with the young ones in positions of power – as they all are these days,” explains Audrey, "what the young people see is their mothers – old women (in their eyes) who potter around the house, wash clothes and dishes, nag them to death and are really, really uncool."

"Now, dads, on the other hand," says Audrey, "have always been remote figures who go to work, come home late at night and are often at conferences or other important functions at weekends.”

“No matter whether the mother works or not, dad's work is always seen as being far more important and as such dad remains the authority figure in the household. More importantly, children never see dad cleaning the toilet, or doing menial work around the house. Dad’s are cool!"

“I believe that older women get less respect than older men from the young things because children have been raised to see their mothers in menial nagging roles at home – their main function, attracting a man and raising children, being over, and that’s why they’re seen as dinosaurs,” explains Audrey. “When this lack of respect for their mothers is carried over to apply to all older women in the workplace, we get a particularly nasty form of ageism directed at women.”

“At 45 I don’t consider myself to be a dinosaur,” sighs Audrey, “but when everyone around you at work is a twenty-something, I guess that’s what I am and I either learn to live with it, or get out and start my own business or find a job in aged-care or something where 45 would be seen as being like a spring chicken.”

Read more by Audrey on this issue:

being old in a young workplace

an age old problem

job hogs

Prue’s workplace, like so many others, is largely comprised of the 21-35 age group with the emphasis being on 20-somethings and the feeling among the younger workers is that people over 40 are hogging jobs that should be given to somebody younger.

"Forty-up women workers everywhere are feeling very much out of place in organizations that are geared for youth," says Prue

"Like me, they work in constant fear that their jobs are on the line, and if it is not said so to their face then the feeling among the younger workers is that we are hogging jobs that should be given to somebody younger."

"They say to me: 'You've had your time, why don't you retire and give a young person a chance at a job?' and I'm astounded."

Hello? Retire at 45?

"If I could retire, I would," sighs Prue. "I hate how aggressive the youth culture is today."

"I don’t look or feel old," she says, "but they are making me feel ancient and it gets to me".

Prue's situation is difficult because she cannot afford to retire yet -- and she does not want to stay at home alone while her husband works.”

"As much as I regret that lots of young people are out of work," confides Prue, "I do not see their predicament as being my fault. If they want to pick on someone, they should attack the people responsible for the economy. I feel outraged that young co-workers are picking on me and making my working life difficult and unhappy."

"The traditional courtesy and respect for older women that was once shown in workplaces has flown out the window," says Prue. "I never spoke to older women workers the way the kids do to us today."

"This lack of respect for older people went to blazes sometime in the early 1990s, I think," says Prue. "I remember the bad recession we went through, much worse than the current one. There were mass sackings and fierce competition for available jobs. The competition and aggression remains. It's almost as if it has become de rigueur to be vicious at work these days."

"When a workplace is 99% comprised of people in the 21-35 age group, a woman in her 40s is regarded as ancient," says Prue. "And a woman in her 50s or 60s, according to the young-things, should be rocking in a chair in an old folks home."

"Even if you are in a position of power in the workplace," says Prue, "being 40+ is a liability. More and more positions of power are being given to 20-somethings because they are willing to work long hours and weekends too, and they are perceived as being at the cutting edge of everything new."

"It's bad enough being a senior worker in the ranks, but it's far worse to be a senior worker in management. You have far more to lose," laughs Prue.

Read more about Prue:

battle of the generations

a world ruled by kids?

overqualified & underemployed

Jackie was formerly a highly paid project manager when job loss and desperate circumstances forced her to take on a lowly customer service position. She continued looking for the type of job she was qualified for, but after a year she gave up hope.

"I initially planned on continuing to look for the type of job I wanted while employed in my present job," explains Jackie, "but after a year I gave up hope. Had I been ten years younger I would have persevered, but when you're a woman pushing 50 you're a fool if you think you can compete with a twenty-something fresh from university."

What she hates most about the job is the attitude of her co-workers. She never told them what type of work she did before, but somehow they found out and they actually sneer at her.

"I have no opportunities for advancement in the menial job I’m doing now," explains Jackie. "I can work my butt off, and I do, but nobody in management is going to recommend me for promotion. They are probably terrified that if they promote me I will outshine them and put their jobs at risk."

"What's worse," says Jackie, "the managers and other staff at the company who are similar to me in age, education and experience actually avoid me because of my lowly position. They are probably terrified that something like this could happen to them, too -- and they're right about that!"

Read more of Jackie’s story:

project manager to clerk

single moms and desperation jobs

job hunt desperation points

managerial slippery slopes

job hunt desperation points

After six months of desperately looking for work, Jackie – a former project manager - applied for a position as a clerk -- a Customer Service Representative -- earning basic wages, and was successful. The only reason she applied for the job was due to the sheer desperation of her circumstances.

"Desperation is never a good reason to apply for a job, let alone accept it," sighs Jackie, "but I had no choice in the matter whatsoever. It was either take what I could get, or lose everything I had worked so hard to attain."

“I reached my desperation point after six months of job hunting when I applied for a lowly clerical position,” says Jackie. “I am still in that job, and grateful for it, because it’s pretty obvious that during economic downturns people like me – single moms over 40 with a mortgage – are more likely to reach a job hunt desperation point much earlier than the young, childless, married or wealthy.”

“Under these circumstances education, skills and experience are virtually worthless,” says Jackie. “When you have children to feed, school fees and a mortgage to pay, and the power company is about to cut off your electricity you soon realize, as I did, that waiting to be offered a job commensurate with your education, skills and experience is not a smart thing to do.”

Read more of Jackie’s story:

project manager to clerk

single moms and desperation jobs

forced into career suicide

overqualified and underemployed

managerial slippery slopes

old dogs and young bosses

When Rowena, 48, heard her young boss using the 'you can't teach old dogs new tricks' cliché she saw red.

"Firstly, it was derogatory to refer to senior women workers as dogs," says Rowena, "and secondly it was ridiculous that anyone could put forward the notion that only young people have the capacity to learn. What a load of crap!"

When employers or recruiters use this cliché, Rowena feels that what they really mean is that senior workers cannot look young.

Rowena believes that in a culture increasingly dominated by youth, anything - even worn out old clichés - that can be used to discriminate against older workers will be flogged to death.

"The truth is," says Rowena, "that older women workers have a lot more going for them than younger workers. Experience is something that only age can confer upon people."

She feels that younger workers, even her young bosses, basically feel inferior to senior workers.

"Deep down in their psyche they know that they will have to live for at least thirty years before they have a clue what it's all about," says Rowena, "so they use what they do have at their disposal to try to get an advantage - even if it means stooping to dirty tricks."

What young workers do have going for them is youth, and that’s all.

Rowena believes that most of the new ideas they come up with are nothing more than old ideas dressed up to look new.

"They even take the music of my generation and dress it up to make it sound like their music," laughs Rowena. "It is so pathetic, and sometimes I feel sorry for them because it must be mortifying to be young and have to admit that a geriatric group like the Rolling Stones is better than any group of their age."

"Being good at something has nothing to do with age," says Rowena, "and I really resent my age being used unfairly against me."

"I can't sing so I won't try to compete against anyone - young or old - for a spot in a group," says Rowena, "but I'm very good at what I do and I believe that the best person should be given preference, not the youngest person."

"Give a new trick to a senior worker and a younger worker," says Rowena, "and generally there is very little difference in the time both will take to figure it out."

If, however, the new trick involves knowledge of another new trick that the younger worker knows, and the senior worker doesn't, then the senior worker is at a clear disadvantage.

It is this sort of trickery that Rowena abhors.

When senior workers are proved to be less capable of learning new tricks she believes that a disadvantage was built into the experiment.

For instance, in the computer world a new program is developed every few months if not every day. A clever way for recruiters and companies to opt out of promoting or hiring older women is to require previous working experience with a particular program.

"Naturally," says Rowena, "even younger workers would not have the luxury of that type of experience, but nobody notices that."

When Rowena was transferred to a branch office position she was confronted by a totally new application. She felt awful because the younger woman who was transferred with her had worked with that particular special application before.

Because the other woman was younger, she was deemed to be smarter than Rowena.

"Hey," laughs Rowena, "the shoe could just have easily been on the other foot, but nobody notices that, either."

"All they notice is your age," laughs Rowena.

"I sometimes wonder whether any of these young things have a conscience," says Rowena. "I wonder whether they sleep well at night, and I wonder whether they worry like crazy that one day some young thing is going to pull the same dirty tricks on them."

"To be fair," adds Rowena, "it's not just the young things who pull dirty tricks on older women workers. There are a lot of old guys in positions of power who want us replaced with younger women and are not beneath playing dirtier tricks to make us look incompetent and stupid."

"I hope they get their just desserts, too," laughs Rowena.

"Right now, though," says Rowena, "I'm stuck in this branch office with a bunch of kids and even though I've learned the new application in probably half the time the younger woman learned it, I've been branded as an old fool."

"Well, if nothing else," laughs Rowena, "I have shown them that an old dog can learn new tricks!"

"I know I shouldn't treat this matter lightly," says Rowena, "but sometimes I feel an overwhelming urge to show them how pathetic they are - maybe I should buy myself a studded collar and some dog food and go in one day to do some barking and growling at them!"

This story first appeared as
old dogs and new tricks

a shafted mentor

Lorraine is angry that the time-honored practice of mentoring is being abused by toxic employers as a method of getting rid of older staff after sucking their brains.

“Mentoring was never intended to be abused in this way,” says Lorraine, “but I got shafted and once all of the older staff members have been given the push, who is left to do the mentoring?"

"Surely not the bright young things?"

"How long does management expect them to stay? And when the bright young things have moved on, they take the old mentor's brains with them without passing anything on to the latest recruits."

"Smart companies recognize the value of senior workers as mentors and do not make demands or cause senior workers to fear for their jobs," says Lorraine.

"A mentor's role is a lifetime role and smart companies recognize that experience cannot be replicated in a younger person."

"For one thing," says Lorraine, "young recruits actually appreciate being mentored by a senior worker. They feel uncomfortable being shown the ropes by someone not much older than themselves."

"And, frankly, when the mentor is young, there is not so much enthusiasm for the job because having sucked the brains out of a senior worker and caused the older woman to be sacked, the younger mentor is smart enough to know that it does not pay to share too much with a new recruit."

Read more about Lorraine:

mentoring leads to replacement

old vs young managers

facing the facts

Naomi is 58, a fine arts graduate who can't get a job in her field of expertise and has had to take a menial job with a corporate giant where she’s the oldest person on the payroll -- subordinate to people young enough to be her grandchildren -- but she survives in the job by facing the facts, and sketching them!

She’s a very friendly lady, very easy to talk to - a typical people pleaser - and she’s very philosophical about young people taking over the workplace at a time in her life when she would have been enjoying seniority and a good income under the old system.

"Yes," says Naomi, "when I started work at 15 the pecking order was by age. It still is, but the age of seniority is now reversed!"

"Some of the young managers at my workplace are often brash and brusque with me," says Naomi, "but I forgive them all. I remember what youth was like and these young things are going to be horribly burnt out by the time they're my age. It's wrong, I think, to put heavy responsibilities on young shoulders, but who am I to argue with the new world order!"

"I must admit, though, that the youth of today is remarkable," says Naomi, "they have so much drive and ambition and confidence, and they come from all over the world."

"Actually," admits Naomi, "if it were not for all the new people I get to rub shoulders with at work I would have retired long ago and learned to live happily with my husband in retired poverty."

"You see, I survive in the job by reading faces and sketching them from memory," smiles Naomi. "Yes, reading faces!"

"I suppose it's may way of asserting who I am and venting my frustration," says Naomi. "Just by observing people I get a clear picture of who they are inside and some of my sketches are really cute pictures but others, of course, are nasty as befitting the person I've sketched."

Her workplace, like most places run by young people, is extremely stressful.

"Everyone wants everything right now," says Naomi, "and nobody takes any notice of normal work hours."

"There's always a constant stream of new faces at work," says Naomi, "and that's the one bright light in a job that is otherwise hellish. All of the people are very young, mostly ordinary but some have extraordinary faces. Some may be staff members from head office or branch offices doing training, or temporary workers from overseas or out of town, or tradesmen or technicians coming to fix things that the good thump I gave them won't fix."

"Every new face becomes the subject of one of my cute pencil sketches," says Naomi, "and just about everyone here has a sketch of mine pinned up on the walls where they work."

"No," says Naomi, "I would not say that I am a ‘people’ person in the traditional sense of the word, but I am definitely more interested in the human side of work than anything else."

"And, no," says Naomi, "I don’t deliberately go out of my way to talk to the new faces at work. Some I must necessarily brief on what to do and where to go, but generally I prefer to observe them from a distance."

"And, yes," says Naomi, "I am the stereotypical sketcher who carries around a small sketchpad, but frankly I do most of my sketches from memory."

"I am blessed with an incredible memory for faces," says Naomi. "I can sketch from memory the people I saw at a training session at work last month - with 30 people seated exactly where they were around the room - and I can do the same for a similar scene that happened ten years ago."

It is sad -- and shows an incredible lack of staff talent spotting by her global giant employer -- that her remarkable memory for faces, and her considerable artistic talent, have been completely overlooked and not put to good use."

Naomi admits that very few people notice her. She tries to pretend that it does not bother her that few of the people she works with will remember her, but deep down it must hurt her.

"At 58 I'm considered to be an old woman who should be retired in a rocking chair," laughs Naomi. "And, with so many beautiful young things for others to notice in the workplace, why would anyone remember me? I am philosophical about being part of the furniture around here."

For all her apparent invisibility, someone up high must notice the bright smile on Naomi's face and the pleasant way she interacts with people because, let's face it, there's no way someone her age could have survived in such a youth orientated workplace without being noticed by someone who counts.

Naomi's story first appeared as surviving as the oldest employee and is reprinted with permission.