overqualified & underemployed

Jackie was formerly a highly paid project manager when job loss and desperate circumstances forced her to take on a lowly customer service position. She continued looking for the type of job she was qualified for, but after a year she gave up hope.

"I initially planned on continuing to look for the type of job I wanted while employed in my present job," explains Jackie, "but after a year I gave up hope. Had I been ten years younger I would have persevered, but when you're a woman pushing 50 you're a fool if you think you can compete with a twenty-something fresh from university."

What she hates most about the job is the attitude of her co-workers. She never told them what type of work she did before, but somehow they found out and they actually sneer at her.

"I have no opportunities for advancement in the menial job I’m doing now," explains Jackie. "I can work my butt off, and I do, but nobody in management is going to recommend me for promotion. They are probably terrified that if they promote me I will outshine them and put their jobs at risk."

"What's worse," says Jackie, "the managers and other staff at the company who are similar to me in age, education and experience actually avoid me because of my lowly position. They are probably terrified that something like this could happen to them, too -- and they're right about that!"

Read more of Jackie’s story:

project manager to clerk

single moms and desperation jobs

job hunt desperation points

managerial slippery slopes

job hunt desperation points

After six months of desperately looking for work, Jackie – a former project manager - applied for a position as a clerk -- a Customer Service Representative -- earning basic wages, and was successful. The only reason she applied for the job was due to the sheer desperation of her circumstances.

"Desperation is never a good reason to apply for a job, let alone accept it," sighs Jackie, "but I had no choice in the matter whatsoever. It was either take what I could get, or lose everything I had worked so hard to attain."

“I reached my desperation point after six months of job hunting when I applied for a lowly clerical position,” says Jackie. “I am still in that job, and grateful for it, because it’s pretty obvious that during economic downturns people like me – single moms over 40 with a mortgage – are more likely to reach a job hunt desperation point much earlier than the young, childless, married or wealthy.”

“Under these circumstances education, skills and experience are virtually worthless,” says Jackie. “When you have children to feed, school fees and a mortgage to pay, and the power company is about to cut off your electricity you soon realize, as I did, that waiting to be offered a job commensurate with your education, skills and experience is not a smart thing to do.”

Read more of Jackie’s story:

project manager to clerk

single moms and desperation jobs

forced into career suicide

overqualified and underemployed

managerial slippery slopes

the dreaded company merger

Heidi is 38, divorced and bringing up two children without any help from her ex-husband. She worked quite happily for a small accountancy firm until it merged with a larger organization, bringing her into contact with the co-workers from hell.

"Many of my former co-workers lost their jobs in the company merger," explains Heidi, "but two other women and myself were taken on by the new company."

Heidi's relief at keeping her job and having an income coming in was soon overshadowed when she starting working for the new company.

"We were assigned to positions within different departments," says Heidi, "meaning that the three of us had to fit in with entirely new co-workers."

Because lunch breaks were staggered, Heidi never even got a chance to speak to her old co-workers during the day. She believes that the new company deliberately separated the three women in order to force them to assimilate.

"We got around this forced separation by talking to each other after work," says Heidi, "but because the other two women were lucky enough to be assigned to really friendly departments these after-work talks didn't last long."

"I guess they felt the need to stick together had passed," sighs Heidi, "and even though they knew I was having trouble settling in to my new department they didn't want to get involved."

Heidi had the stressful experience of being assigned to a department where none of her new co-workers made an effort to befriend her.

"On the contrary," explains Heidi, "they treated me very badly from the first day and made it abundantly clear that they did not want an 'outsider' working with them."

"I suppose I don't 'fit in' with them because I'm divorced and they're married, and I have children and they don't," explains Heidi.

"I'm also a bit older than they are, too," adds Heidi. "But I guess it's more than that. They just don't want someone new breaking up their little group. Honestly, their behavior towards me is really evil."

"I was the first child in a family of four kids and had to put up with my younger sisters ganging up on me at times," explains Heidi, "but nothing my sisters did compares with what I have to put up with from the girls at work."

Heidi says that her evil co-workers smear her computer monitor with grease, cut her off from the network, delete her files, hide her chair when she's out of the room and whisper and giggle together about her.

"I brought in a photo of my kids to place on my desk," says Heidi, "and the next day I came in and found it was smeared with grease, too."

Heidi's main problem is that she doesn't have anyone at home to talk to about what's happening at work, and she refuses to speak to the management at her new place because if she does complain they will probably call her a trouble-maker and dismiss her.

"Whichever way I turn," sighs Heidi, "I'm in trouble. I can't quit this job because I need an income and it won't be easy finding another job. I guess I just have to put up with these evil women, keep my inner strength in tune and hope and pray that in time they'll leave me alone."

Company mergers often lead to staff destabilization and Heidi may find that her evil co-workers will accept her in time, but the odds are not good that they will. They're ganging up against her and seem determined to make her life miserable and force her to quit.

"What really upsets me," explains Heidi, "is that these women have secure jobs, they have husbands bringing home money and they don't have children to feed and clothe like I do. I need this job. Why can't they understand that single working mothers like me have tremendous responsibilities?"

"When they hurt me, they hurt my kids," sighs Heidi. "If they're not willing to make my life easier then they should have the decency to leave me alone to do my work in peace so that I can go home to my children with a good frame of mind."

Heidi's point about whoever hurts a single mother also hurts her children is worth repeating. Her anger and frustration about being treated badly at work is definitely going to spill over at home and adversely affect her children.

"You know," sighs Heidi, "the world talks about how evil the terrorists are but the really evil people to me are those within our community who terrorize others on a daily basis. It all boils down to hating change and hating people who are different, doesn't it?"

"I've thought about whether my childhood experiences as a first child have much bearing on what I'm experiencing now," adds Heidi. "I admit that I'm probably more tolerant of misbehavior in younger people than, say, an only child would be, but putting up with abuse from co-workers is not the same thing as putting up with bad behavior from your little sisters."

"These women are grown up and should behave accordingly," says Heidi. "I have enough trouble sorting out my private life and taking care of the kids without having to make excuses for the bad behavior of grown up women."

"Yes, it's extremely stressful, and no, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of the hysterical reaction they want," says Heidi.

"I'll give them a couple more weeks to settle down and then reassess the situation," explains Heidi. "If it continues then I suppose I will just have to ask for a transfer. There's only so much anyone can put up with without breaking and I'm not going to allow them to do that to me and my kids."

anyone for lunch?

Renata is 44, divorced with three young teenagers living at home, and she was delighted to win a job that paid almost twice her old salary. There was, however, a hidden catch that Renata hit head on with the sort of style that often separates the winners from the losers in the workplace.

"Since becoming a single parent nine years ago I've had to do some awful jobs for miserable pay so it was about time I started earning what I was worth," says Renata, "but I was absolutely shocked out of my brain on the first day at the new job when nobody took a lunch break and frowned at me when I got up to leave!"

Apparently, nobody had warned Renata that her new job involved working through the lunch break.

"The boss would send out for sandwiches, at company expense, and everyone grabbed a plate and went back to work at their desks," explains Renata. "I didn't see any chains around their ankles or necks but there may as well have been."

"I was pleased to be earning a good salary," says Renata, "but I had no idea that no lunch break was the price I had to pay for it."

The lunch break, for Renata -- and most people -- is not so much about eating but getting a break, getting some fresh air and sunshine, and getting some exercise. It is also about removing ourselves from a work environment in order to have a proper break. Sometimes it is about removing ourselves from co-workers in order to spend time with people we do not work with. And for busy single working mothers like Renata it is often about doing some shopping to enable an immediate return home at the end of the workday.

Renata has found, through trial and error over the years, that a one-hour lunch break is ideal for her.

"Including the time it takes to get out of the building, and how far I need to travel to get to the shops," explains Renata, "half an hour was really not enough time to refresh myself, grab something to eat and do some shopping."

Without a proper lunch break, Renata was a wreck by the end of the first day at her new job.

After being denied what she considered her right to a lunch break, Renata just took an hour off for lunch the next day and her employer had to like it or lump it.

"When you've been on your own raising a family as long as I have," says Renata, "you get to a stage where you've got a bit of money saved, your kids aren't so demanding, your self-esteem has picked up and you're no longer capable of putting up with the sort of stuff you had to put up with when all the chips were down."

"There were really heavy frowns at first," says Renata, "and then just about everyone but the brown-nosers followed suit. I started a revolution!"

"If my employer had dared to maintain that I had no right to take a lunch break or tried to cut my salary," explains Renata, "then I was prepared to seek legal advice immediately."

As Renata pointed out, we are living in the 21st century not the Dark Ages.

"Forced labor and slavery are crimes against humanity," asserts Renata, "and if employees don’t assert their rights then employers will try to get away with as much as they can."

Renata was lucky in that most of her co-workers agreed with what she was doing.

"Had I been the only employee taking a proper lunch break, I might have found myself out of a job," says Renata.

"I know that kids and immigrants are often subjected to illegal or immoral work practices when they take on a job," laughs Renata, "but I had no idea that some employers try cute tricks on regular workers. This experience has been a real eye opener for me."

"I can’t believe that before I started the new job absolutely nobody had dared complain about being deprived of a lunch break," sighs Renata. "It just goes to show how timid some people are and how one person can make a difference. I’m glad that one person was me."

"Yes," agrees Renata, "my relationship with management remains a bit icy. The big boss is probably mad as hell at me and may be hatching up some plot to get even with me, but I’m doing what I consider to be right not just for myself but for everybody here."

"I work really hard, I'm good at what I do and now that my kids are older and capable of taking care of themseves I don't mind staying back a bit," says Renata, "but I won't work through lunch -- not for a million bucks -- and if my employer can't appreciate that fact then he's a fool."

"He's no fool so I'm not really worried about losing my job," adds Renata, "but you can never tell about these things. He should be smart enough to see that everyone is happier -- and more productive -- now that they get a proper lunch break and he should be thanking me not snarling at me!"

"Like I said before, I was totally incapable of asserting myself when I was newly separated with little kids to support," says Renata, "so if you're a single mom stuck in a lousy job don't feel bad about not being able to change things. Believe me, you'll grow stronger with every day spent in adversity and the day will come when you can tell a lousy boss to stick his job."

surviving the work late culture

Jane is a single working mother who is experiencing a great deal of stress and anguish being expected to work after hours, but she survives with the help of a loving and dedicated mom.

"I don’t get paid for this extra work," says Jane. "Everybody works back late without extra pay where I work - and there is no special consideration for working mothers like me."

The working late culture is a problem that particularly affects working mothers, but just about anyone with a life outside of work is upset by the increasing trend among employers to hire less staff and make them work back late, without extra pay, in order to do the work of two people.

"I'm 37 and old enough to remember a 9-5 working day, when offices closed at 5pm and people had real lives," sighs Jane.

"I'm really grappling with this problem," sighs Jane. "I will never accept that work was ever meant to consume more than 8 hours of our day."

"I was told that if working mothers want to work then they should get it very clear from the start that working late is normal these days and if you don’t become a workaholic then you won’t have a job."

"Terms of employment might state 9 to 5", says Jane, "but if you walk out the door at 5pm you will probably be the only person doing so as well as the first person on the chopping block when the company restructures."

As Groucho Marx quipped: "No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early."

Jane adds that few bosses leave early these days!

"Some workplaces do allow flexible working hours - with a core period between which one must be present - but generally companies do not take into account either our personal needs or our time clocks," says Jane.

"Businesses, of course, are not in business to suit the personal needs and time-clocks of staff and there is plenty of evidence to support the view that expecting staff to conform to the working late culture is an exercise of power that has very little to do with productivity."

"If businesses really wanted to prosper," says Jane, "then they might consider the benefits of giving their staff adequate time off to relax and recharge their batteries."

"There are very few people who can work for more than an 8-hour day without making mistakes and becoming irritable and unproductive," says Jane.

"You would have to be doing something you really loved - and would do for free - in order to maintain that length of productivity without fatigue."

Jane’s work, like most people’s, is not something she loves and would do for free.

"Fatigue is a real problem for me," says Jane, "but luckily I have a mother who lives close and takes care of my children while I am at work. Without her support I would not be able to survive. She is far more valuable to me than a husband would be because she doesn't work and she puts my interests before her own. How many men would do that?"

"I don’t have to worry about keeping a babysitter waiting - but nevertheless my children do suffer from being picked up at their grandmother’s house at all hours of the night - and my mother isn’t too happy about the way I am spending so much time at work."

"Sure, I’m turning into a workaholic and becoming prone to heart disease," says Jane, "but what else can I do? I need this job and I've got to do whatever it takes to survive in it."

Jane says that it is ironic that workers worldwide in the 19th and 20th centuries fought a long and hard battle to earn the right to an 8-hour day, and now it is almost heretic to demand such a right.

"I've considered doing part-time work - or even changing my occupation to one with hours and conditions that suit my needs - but I really need the money of a full-time job."

"There are, of course, still lots of employers out there who are sympathetic to the personal needs of staff," says Jane, "but expecting to leave at 5pm in any workplace is just not done these days - no matter what the work contract says - so I'm not risking changing my job."

"There are plenty of people out there desperate for work," says Jane, "and even if an employer is sympathetic to the personal needs of staff, it is the people who do not expect to leave early who will get the perks and promotions, not those who leave early."

"Very few people are indispensable these days," sighs Jane. "And I believe that workaholism has more to do with fear of losing out on perks and promotions - and jobs - than some innate brain wiring problem. It's a disease that's acquired by the working late culture."

"When more and more employers are requiring longer working hours, shorter breaks and keeping workers in a state of fear - not knowing whether their jobs are going to last out the month let alone the year - is it any wonder that so many of us are developing workaholic tendencies?"

keeping things together

Like all women, Hope has come a long way since the 1960s but she, being a single mom, knows from personal experience that having it all is an unrealistic expectation and that the most a single working mom can do is keep things together at home and survive as best you can at work.

"I know that some moms - single and married - manage to beat the odds," says Hope, "but most of us are forced to make huge career sacrifices for the sake of the children and take on some pretty nasty humilation, too. But you do it to survive!"

When her children were young, Hope believed it was far more important for her to keep it all together at home than to strive for power and glory in the workplace for the simple reason that she represented home to her children. There was nobody else but her to keep things together at home, and if she lost the love and trust of her children then she would lose everything.

"A lot of working moms just don’t realize that their children play a far more important role in their lives than the women think they do," says Hope, "Children keep us grounded far more than a job does."

"I saw it as my duty to give my children the very best start in life and the best start has very little to do with money," says Hope. "Instead, it has everything to do with the time and care I gave them and most of all the blessing of a loving, stress-free home environment."

"To achieve that aim I took on the least stressful job I could find," says Hope, "and no matter that I was being paid half as much as I was worth I hung on to that job for dear life because it was giving me what I wanted. I jumped through a hundred hoops a day to keep my boss happy because as long as he was happy he wouldn't fire me and upset my homelife."

"I believe that the first seven years of a child's life are vital to his or her future development," says Hope, "and I have no regrets about the enormous personal sacrifices I made for my children. I was aware right from the start that no amount of remorse will ever undo the damage done to kids by a mother who neglected them in order to further her career, or to chase a guy."

To her credit, Hope’s three children have grown up into happy, well-adjusted teenagers and while life is much easier for her there are still significant responsibilities with teenagers living at home.

"I'm still in the same job," laughs Hope, "and I'm still keeping it together at home.

"Support is something I never really got in large enough measures to improve my circumstances," says Hope. "Being a father and a mother to young children was relatively easy, but its hard being both a mom and dad for older children. They still depend upon me to provide a safe, stable and happy home, and because I don't want to rock their boats I'm still jumping through hoops for my boss."

"The demands of my job no longer conflict much with my mothering duties," says Hope, "so life is easier in that respect, but my boss never lets me forget how much time off he gave me when I had to put my little children's needs first."

"When a conflict between work and home arose, I always stuck to my guns about never letting work interfere with my home life," says Hope, "and my boss was pretty good about giving me time off to keep things together at home. And so he should have been for paying me half as much as I was worth!"

"The belief that I can have it all when the kids were older kept me sane during those early years," says Hope, "but I'm discovering that I probably won't be able to achieve that goal until my kids are working themselves."

"Until then, I guess I'm still stuck in this low paid job," sighs Hope. "I'm surviving, sure, but I'd like to be thriving!"

"I can't understand mothers -- married or not -- who put their kids into nurseries after birth in order to pursue their careers," says Hope. "Maybe I'm missing something but why bother having children if you’re not prepared to look after them?"

supportive jobs

Patience, 43, is a single mom of two children who turned down a job offer paying a lot more than she's earning now because she places far more value on the support she receives at her present job and believes work is about job survival not job suicide.

"Sure, ask any mom why she's out there working rather than staying home to look after her children," says Patience, "and the bottom line is always money. I work for money to support my kids just like everyone else, but when you're a single mom you've got to do an amazing balancing job. You know, weigh up what's important and what's not, and I knew pretty quickly that I needed a supportive workplace more than I needed more money."

"Without the incentive of money, there would be no 'personal satisfaction', 'status', 'identity' or any of the other reasons we wish to put forward as reasons why we put our children into the care of others and go out to work," says Patience, "and while some single moms work to pay for luxuries to augment a private income, most of us just work to earn money to pay the bills and feed the family."

"I feel sorry for single moms who work primarily for the most money they can get because while understanding this emphasis on money -- some single mothers are in dire financial circumstances -- they often lose a lot more than they gain when they let money guide them."

"I don't earn much money where I work," says Patience, "so I can't afford little luxuries for my children, but I do work in a very supportive environment and when you've got a job like that you get down on your knees and thank God for your good fortune."

"My team is almost exclusively composed of single working moms like myself," confides Patience, "and that makes all the difference because we understand how tough things are taking care of children on our own and we look out for each other. When a kid is sick, there's no problem taking time off work. Someone always covers for us. That's the beauty of teamwork. Nobody's work is so important that a day or a week off work is going to make any difference."

Patience believes that in today's outsourcing economic climate we're lucky to have a job, so if a single mom is in a job that's basically supportive and amenable to her needs as a single working mother -- but is not paying what she thinks she's worth -- she would be very silly to give it up for a job offering better pay.

"I turned down the better paying job because you never know until you're in a job for a few months whether the company practices subtle discrimination against single working moms," explains Patience. "The last thing I need is the stress of finding myself in an unsupportive working environment and having to face another job-change down the line. That's not job survival -- it's job suicide,"

"Single working moms really need to get their priorities right," says Patience. "It may not be fair that you may be stuck in a job that does not pay you according to your worth, but when you have children and especially when it is an employer's market out there you have very little say in the matter."

"There are far too many people in the world looking for work, and there are simply not enough jobs available to employ them," explains Patience. "The laws of supply and demand operate perfectly these days to ensure that those who are willing to work for less monetary reward are the ones who remain in jobs or win those that are available. That's job survival for you."

"And the sad fact of this equation," says Patience," is that women -- especially single working moms -- are very often not paid what they are worth."

"Because of their situation -- in some cases being the sole provider for children -- single working moms have traditionally been offered and have accepted less pay than their male counterparts."

"Notwithstanding laws governing equal pay, some employers still discriminate and there's very little you can do about it."

"If the job is supportive of your parenting responsibilities, then it's wise to wear this discrimination with as much good grace as you can."

"A supportive workplace is worth far, far more than you can ever imagine," says Patience, "and in the case of a single working mothers the grass is never greener."