The jobs nobody wants to do

Juvena points out that there are some jobs that nobody wants to do in the workplace, but eventually somebody has to do them and if it is your turn to sit at the reception desk, do the mail run, put out the boxes, clean up the coffee-bar or whatever then it is something you would rather nobody saw you do.

"When it comes to these jobs, though, there is a limit to what I would do," says Juvena. "If I were ever asked by my boss - God forbid! - to clean up a mess in the office toilets I would consider that request to be degrading.”

“My boss would have no right to fling at me some ridiculous argument about my having a menial attitude in order to consider that type of work to be beneath my dignity."

"If the mess bothered my boss so much - and he truly believes that there is no such thing as a menial job, just menial attitudes," says Juvena, "then what's to stop him cleaning it up himself?"

"Why would he ask me to do it?"

"Quite simply, if my boss were ever to request such a task of me then it would be only with one design. That design would be to humiliate me and to demonstrate the importance of his power, position, rank and, yes, gender over me."

“Menial jobs are by definition the type of job that nobody in a position of power and rank or with high self-respect would condescend to do,” says Juvena. "That’s why they are called menial jobs!”

“Fortunately, most workplaces these days are fairly egalitarian and everyone pitches in - including management - when 'menial' work has to be done,” says Juvena, “but as a downtrodden single mom I still have an ‘attitude’ about anyone seeing me do these menial tasks.”

Read more by Juvena on this issue:

single moms and menial work

separation and child support woes

Deliberate alienation

When the small accountancy company Vanessa had worked for was taken over by a big corporation she was separated from her former colleagues during the move to the new company and found herself working in alien territory.

"All of my life I’ve felt like I don’t quite fit in with people," explains Vanessa, "so this new situation is the worst possible thing that could happen to me. I am stuck in an open plan office with a team of people doing different work to mine."

"I discussed the problem with my husband, John, and he thinks that my old team has deliberately alienated me," says Vanessa. "His advice is for me to ask for a transfer to the team section in which I am presently situated and to cut ties completely with my former colleagues."

"John feels that if management does not grant me this reasonable request then I should at least be given my own office and secretary and I agree with him," says Vanessa. "It's all very well having more money and staff benefits but if I'm miserable, what's the use of working?"

"Actually, John doesn’t particularly want me to work," laughs Vanessa, "he’d much prefer me to stay home and devote myself to him and the kids - and that’s a great fallback should I be forced to quit this job."

"But I need to be with people," explains Vanessa. "With the kids at school I’d be very lonely being home by myself all day."

“Like most working mothers, I want to work for my own fulfillment as well as for social interaction,” says Vanessa, “and employers really should be more considerate about where they place their new employees - especially those from a take-over and most especially their female staff.”

"I think my situation would be awful for anybody," says Vanessa, "but for someone like me who has been through a lonely childhood being deliberately alienated at work is the sort of stuff from which nightmares are made."

Read more about Vanessa's situation:

A lonely only child

alien territory

market research

Chelsea is a market researcher and a happily married mom of 27 who is fed up with job hunting and wants to start her own internet based business.


"My first job coincided with the economic downturn that started with the dotcom demise in 2000 and was pushed to the edge by the tragic events of 9/11 and everybody was saying that the Internet was dead," says Chelsea, "but I predicted that it was going to pick up and expand further than ever and I was right!"

"There are now tons of jobs for all industries connected with e-commerce," says Chelsea, "and all my friends who were predicting doom and gloom are now enjoying the fruits of an incredible rise in e-commerce."

"Right now, nobody seems to be investing too heavily in Internet based businesses,” says Chelsea. "but small businesses are thriving on e-Bay. I guess it is going to take a while longer for the dotcom crash to recede into history and when the investors come back it's going to be like a second golden age, but much better!"

"With so many PC savvy and superannuation-rich Baby Boomers retiring in droves I believe that online buying is going to increase exponentially in the coming years," says Chelsea, "and I'm thinking of going it alone, starting up my own internet based business."

”My husband is bringing in a good income so I can afford to take time off to plan my new career," says Chelsea, "and with his technical experience and my market research experience I believe we would do well starting up an Internet based business - but I haven't yet decided the specific area to concentrate on."

"Now is the time for me to think and plan and research," explains Chelsea, " and that's what a lot of people like me are doing."

"I predict we can look forward to seeing 'e' preceding a lot of existing and New Age job titles in years to come," says Chelsea. "There will be e-doctors for online cam-consultations with our aging Baby Boomers; e-real estate agents for selling the old family home and buying the ideal retirement villa in a totally virtual environment; e-investment advisers for managing the Baby Boomer's retirement funds; e-lawyers for settling their disputes; and a host of new 'e' enterprises springing up to meet their needs."

"I know that a lot of IT jobs are going offshore and nobody is advising their kids to get into IT," says Chelsea, "but IT skills are going to become as important - if not more so - as reading, writing and arithmetic in the years to come."

"For someone considering a career change who possesses not only the aptitude for this type of work, but also the patience to wait until an e-business picks up, I believe you can't go wrong with IT and e-commerce skills."

"I'm drawn towards the travel and hospitality industries because I believes that the ageing Baby Boomers are going to have a huge impact in these areas."

"The first thing they will want to do when they retire from work," muses Chelsea, "is to take that long-awaited world trip, and many will just take to the road or the seas as a way of life. The travel and hospitality industries are going to boom!"

"The early baby-boom generation covers the period 1946 to 1955. So, from 2011 to 2020 when these guys reach 65 the world is going to witness a movement akin to the swinging 1960s and 1970s."

"Our hip geriatric Boomers are going to impact on the same areas they once changed during their youth," laughs Chelsea, "Everything New Age is going to come back into vogue, and that includes the fashion industry."

"Look forward," predicts Chelsea, "to flares and psychedelic gear coming back into style and being worn with a vengeance by a generation that aims to grow old (young?) disgracefully."

"Actually fashion would be my second choice for a business," says Chelsea, "but I don't believe there would be as much money in it as the travel and hospitality industries - and that's what it's all about - money, money, money!"

disabled and discouraged

Colleen is 26 and was confined to a wheelchair two years ago after an automobile accident left her a paraplegic. She desperately needs to find a job so that she can afford a specially-modified place where she can achieve a more independent lifestyle but the social barriers that ostracize her from mainstream life are more crippling than her disability.

"I'm philosophical about my fate," says Colleen, "it was my fault, nobody else was to blame, and when things get me down I recall all the good memories of my life before the accident and I feel better."

Colleen shares a community-run house with a variety of similarly ‘imperfect’ people - some old, some young, some mildly disabled, some severely disabled.

Carers and assistants are resident in the house, and all meals, washing and general housework are done by them.

"Community living is better than living at home and being a burden on my parents," says Colleen, "and it’s great having friends around me 24/7."

"We’re a family here, but it’s nevertheless an institution and I yearn for the day when I can afford a specially-modified place where my friends and I can achieve a more independent lifestyle - and hopefully find a boyfriend."

In order to afford such a place, though, Colleen and her friends have to find a job and earn some money, and this is becoming an impossibility for them.

Unfortunately, in life, and on the job hunting scene particularly, Colleen accepts that everyone demands physical perfection.

She makes the point, however, that she is not suffering from physical disability.

"I am not ill," sighs Colleen, "but I am suffering emotionally from the social barriers that ostracize me from mainstream life."

Colleen is often only limited in employment by the physical barriers of the workplace.

"If there are steps in the building or if there are no special toilet facilities," says Colleen, "I am excluded from employment immediately and legally."

Colleen wonders whether trying to find employment is worth all the humiliation she has to go through. She’s wondering whether she should settle for a welfare check and give up her dream to become fully independent.

"In today's employment market when people with 100% ability are being laid off jobs and spending months, if not years, looking for a new job and still not getting a job commensurate in pay and conditions to the one they once enjoyed," says Colleen, "I guess I should accept it as a fact of life that those who have disabilities - especially if the disabilities are easily visible or discernable - are totally out of luck."

"When times get tough," says Colleen, "the weak and vulnerable do indeed get trampled upon."

"Even on the streets I get trampled on," laughs Colleen. "One day I wheeled down the road to test my skills and got stranded on the sidewalk with a parked car blocking my path."

"Luckily a woman came along and assisted me by knocking on all the houses to see who owned the car."

"The car owner was soon found and he was very apologetic," explains Colleen, "but as soon as I wheeled by, he drove right back up onto the sidewalk and I screamed at him! He had a garage but he was too lazy to use it."

"I suppose old women with walking frames have the same problem when out walking, so even age is becoming a disability in our society," sighs Colleen.

"I think, too, that one of the many barriers to employing older workers is the belief that their health is not going to be as good as that of a younger person. An older person who takes a few days off sick for a common complaint is going to be treated very differently from a younger person having the same complaint and taking as much, if not more, time off work. It is going to be a definite black mark in their employment record. As unfair as the practice is, the HR clerk will mark their file ‘physically unfit’. For this reason, many older workers refuse to disclose their health problems and consequently take terrible risks in the workplace."

"With that sort of petty discrimination going on against older workers," says Colleen, "just imagine the uphill battle a disabled person has in finding and keeping a job. For me, just getting up, dressed and transported to an interview is a logistics exercise worthy of a military deployment."

"What is interesting about this whole disability issue," says Colleen, "is that those who have invisible disabilities - or disabilities that are not readily discernable, such as diabetes, epilepsy, mental illness, etc - are often able to circumvent the barriers to employment even though some of these disabilities are far more of a risk than the ‘visible’ disabilities.

Everyone has a workplace story about some co-worker who went into a diabetic coma, had an epileptic fit or went berserk. Very few people have a workplace story about a person with a clearly visible or discernible disability, yet we are the ones who bear the brunt of discrimination."

"I am receiving help from specialists to get me back into the workforce," says Colleen, "but I feel that they are just knocking on closed business doors behind which closed business minds reside."

"There is an ‘industry’ built around providing help for the disabled," explains Colleen, "and the people employed in this industry naturally have a vested interest in keeping their jobs. And therein lies a conflict of interest."

"If the ‘disability’ industry admitted that it really cannot help us find jobs," says Colleen, "then it would be cutting off its nose to spite its face. We are the bread and butter of the disability industry, and some of the guys employed in those places are being downright cruel in continuing to encourage us to seek work in the face of total disinterest from employers."

"Officially, as a society, we are committed to funding the training, counseling and employment placement of disabled citizens," says Colleen, "but think about it. Is it really kinder to give hope of a mainstream job, building up expectations beyond reality; or is it kinder to admit that if a 100% able-bodied person is having trouble finding employment then disabled job-applicants like me have no hope whatsoever?"

tidy girl in messy job

Betty is 19 and found her first job through an agency which put her on a course in coding and guaranteed her a placement. Unfortunately the placement turned out to be a square peg in a round hole type job - it was a bad fit for her.

"I'm a tidy girl and this is a really messy job!"

"I've been in this job for three months now and I'm still technically in training," says Betty, "but there’s no designated trainer, nobody knows what they're doing - although everyone claims to know it all - and there’s nothing in manual format to standardize the work."

She has been bombarded with information from co-workers - much of which conflicts, or is totally unnecessary - and because she is prevented from doing her job properly she feels miserable and incompetent.

"My mom tells me not to despair," says Betty, "but I didn't expect a job to be anything like this. Most of my co-workers are very much older than myself but I am not experiencing reverse ageism."

"On the contrary," says Betty, "the company and staff bent over backwards to make my commencement pleasant."

"There was a week-long induction program that had me learning the detailed history of the company from its inception in 1898 right through until the present time," says Betty.

"I also got to formally meet every single person in the company from the CEO to the janitor," says Betty, "and I was shown around every nook and cranny in the building in order to familiarize myself with the various departments and what they do."

Exhausted from this exercise, Betty was eager to settle down in her job and get some work done in peace and quiet in her second week on the job.

However, peace and quiet escaped her. In stark contrast to the detailed induction program, her on-the-job training was woeful.

"There was absolutely nobody in charge of training and absolutely nothing documented in writing to give me an inkling of what was going on," explains Betty.

"The two guys on either side of me took me under their wing." laughs Betty. "They were so helpful - but one told me to do this, the other told me to do that. And when I asked a third guy what I was supposed to be doing, I was then told something completely different from what the first two guys had told me. And then all of the guys came over and put in their two cents worth!".

"Everyone was so helpful," laughs Betty, "but the place is crazy!"

Betty is sorely confused and overloaded with useless information.

She would start on something and someone would come over and say: 'No, you do it this way.' Then as soon as she had changed what she was doing, someone else would come over and say: 'No, you do it this way'.

Given this sort of on-the-job training anyone would soon go quietly, if not loudly, insane, and Betty couldn’t understand what was going on.

"The guys are not being deliberately obstructive," explains Betty. "They are all laid-back and don’t seem to care that nobody is in charge and nobody really knows what they are doing."

Being a tidy sort of girl who likes to have everything in order and be in total control of her work, Betty could not believe that after three months on the job she was still none the wiser because nobody really had a clue what they were doing even though they all somehow managed to fill eight hours a day doing something.

She describes the place as complete and utter bedlam and is in the process of quitting and looking for another job.

"Next time around," laughs Betty, "I am going to make sure that I have written into my contract who will be training me, how long the training will last and whether work practices are consistent and detailed in manual format."

"I'm the only one having a problem coping with lack of structure and consistency in the workplace," admits Betty, "so I guess it's a classic case of being a square peg in a round hole."

"I'm looking forward to finding a nice square hole into which I can fit," laughs Betty, "but my mom wants me to give the job at least two years."

"I told her that a job isn't like marriage," explains Betty. "I made no vow to stay with it forever and since I'm starting out in life I want to be learning and doing something constructive so that I can get ahead. At this job, I'm going backwards and feeling incompetent. That's why I've made up my mind to move on."

toxic verbal abuse

Piper is being verbally abused by her manager and co-workers and while they can see she is hurting, they don’t care and seem to take pleasure in the toxic situation they are creating for her.

"Words do hurt," says Piper. "Whoever said words don't hurt needs to spend time as a new recruit in a high stress working environment where you're treated as the office kicking dog rather than a valued, educated employee."

"Had I been physically kicked I could have taken the company to court," says Piper, "but emotional kicking is apparently not an offence because words are not supposed to hurt you!"

"I live in dread of losing my job and having to start a new job and going through all the learning curve trauma again," sighs Piper. "It's not the learning curve that fills me with dread but the new people I'll be working with – will they be abusive or helpful?"

"An older girlfriend told me that over time we become immune to verbal assaults at work," says Piper, "but I can't see myself ever getting used to being treated like this."

"What's the use of earning a living when the living you're earning is not worth living?"

"I suppose I could look upon the verbal abusers at work as damaged people – psychopaths or something – but there's no way I can look upon them kindly when I'm living with their verbal abuse for eight hours a day or more, every day of the week."

"Honestly," says Piper, "if work has to be an ordeal then I'd prefer to go home with limbs bleeding from birch lashings than a brain bleeding from tongue lashings."

Read more about Piper’s story:

sticks and stones

childhood flashbacks

education fails workers

untouchable managers

Rosemary is back home being a stay-at-home mom after six months of working in a high pressure, high stress job with a manager who pushed her around like she was a bit of dirt and she's so upset by the experience that right now she's not sure how long her 'between jobs' period is going to be.

"I suppose that manager treated me badly because he thought that with my qualifications I would be coveting his job one day," says Rosemary, "and I suppose I was - that's natural - but when I couldn’t bear it any more, I was in a dilemma about the correct protocol for resigning."

"We all know what the employment gurus advise about resigning," laughs Rosemary, "but all that crap about a desire to expand one's horizons and regret about leaving such a wonderful job with wonderful managers and co-workers - is absolutely and totally anathema to me."

"Because of this admonition to tell lies and protect future career prospects," says Rosemary, "nobody will ever know the truth about why people quit jobs and nothing will ever get done about removing the problems that cause resignations."

"Why are these lies perpetrated? asks Rosemary. "Why is it not okay to tell the truth?"

Rosemary makes the point that when relationships come to an end, it is very rare that two people have anything good to say about each other and that is perfectly acceptable.

"If the two people still liked each other, they would not be splitting up, would they?" asks Rosemary. "So why is it unacceptable, for instance, to resign a job on account of 'irreconcilable differences' with one's boss or co-worker?"

Rosemary feels that irreconcilable differences is a wonderful explanation for job quitting, expressing a perfectly understandable human condition, without getting down and dirty about the specifics.

"The employment gurus say that you will be branded as someone unfit for teamwork - and will not find another job easily - if you even hinted that you had an interpersonal problem at your last job," says Rosemary, "but I reject this."

"I cannot believe that employers and their HR departments are so naive that they do not understand that just about everybody resigns a job because of some interpersonal problem."

"If it is not the main reason," says Rosemary, "then it is definitely a very close secondary reason."

"Basically," says Rosemary, "jobs are relationships. Forget about the product, the pay, the building and other window dressing. It is the people you will be working for, and with, that make or break a job. And, it is far more apparent now than it ever was because of the increasingly competitive job market."

"These days," says Rosemary, "both staff and management work in team structures and individuality is no longer a prized characteristic. With shared tasks and sometimes being within elbow's reach of adjacent co-workers, we must bury all that primitive individualism that once separated us from the apes."

Very few people are naturally and overwhelmingly 'people' persons - team players - and Rosemary is one lady who knows only too well that it is a very thin veneer of civility that we affect in order to get through the day at work.

Eventually that veneer cracks.

"Most people are smart enough to keep their cool and plan their resignation," says Rosemary, "but it is not always possible to find a new job before an explosion occurs."

Rosemary agrees that married women like herself, with a working husband, are greatly advantaged in being able to quit lousy jobs while they are ahead and still in control of their faculties.

"I have single friends, especially single working mothers," says Rosemary, "who are badly disadvantaged in the workplace because employers and co-workers know that they can't quit jobs easily."

"Some people get a real kick out of making life hell for the poor single mothers," says Rosemary, "and when workplace scenes do occur it is often some poor single woman breaking under the strain."

"There was a single mother who ended up in hospital in her first week at my old workplace because she was too stressed by one of the stinking managers to attend to a medical problem," says Rosemary, "and when she returned to work he continued to harass her - because he knew how desperately she needed the job."

Rosemary admits that she has never yet come across a person who did not resign a job under suspicious circumstances.

"If honesty were a prized characteristic in the workplace," says Rosemary, "then irreconcilable differences would become as common and acceptable in resignation matters as it is in divorce and there would be no more suspicious circumstances."

"The reason for resignation is a stock interview question for both parties," says Rosemary, "and it’s about time it was dropped. Pick up most interview preparation books and the guru will tell you to rehearse the following silly scene:

'Why did you resign your last job?' asks the Interviewer.

You dutifully reply: 'I needed to broaden my horizons.'

Then you ask: 'Why did the person resign this job I'm applying for?'

The Interviewer dutifully replies: 'Ms Smith needed to broaden her horizons.'

It is an utterly ridiculous question for both parties to ask and someone has to stop this madness."

"When interviewers say that the previous person resigned because she wanted to work overseas, or spend more time at home, or broaden her horizons," claims Rosemary, "the truth is that very few people quit a job for the reasons they state."

"Some people may actually go overseas on an extended holiday to justify giving 'working overseas' as an excuse to quit a job," says Rosemary, "but I know from asking around that everyone’s main reason for quitting a job - not the only one - is that they were being harassed by a manager or co-worker."

"Enough of these lies!" screams Rosemary.

"Does it not occur to management that one bad apple - even within its own management team - is often the cause of many good workers quitting?

"If a three-strikes-you-are-out policy were adopted in workplaces - for both management and staff - then these bad apples can be removed legally from their jobs."

"When staff members do not tell the truth about why they are quitting, these bad apples are given carte blanche to continue their bad behavior," says Rosemary. "They thrive and bask in our lies to the point where they may actually believe that they are 'wonderful' managers and co-workers."

"I refused to perpetuate this madness," says Rosemary. "My resignation letter stated 'irreconcilable differences' and if my next employer doesn't accept that reason as being good enough then I'll find one who does."

"As you can tell," sighs Rosemary, "I'm very upset by my experiences in that job and I'm going to need as much time as necessary to recover from it. I can't apply for another job when I'm so stressed out, so it looks like my time 'between jobs' is going to be weeks if not months and that means money lost and this makes me angrier than ever because that jerk of a manager is still raking in his dough."

female job applicant risks

Debbie is angry that male job applicants can get away with things at interviews that females can't, and that women have additional difficulties when they're interviewed by males.

"Unless the guy is gay - and more interested in your clothes than your gender - the male interviewer is more likely to be checking you out as a bedmate rather than a valued employee," says Debbie, "and the guys old enough to be your father, happily married with four kids, are often the worst."

"That's not to say, of course, that female interviewers don't act in the same lascivious manner towards male job applicants," adds Debbie, "but there is a significant difference. Let's face it, female job applicants are going to feel a lot more intimidated being ogled by a man in a position of power over them than a male job applicant would be in the reverse situation."

"Also, a woman's appearance is far more important than her credentials," sighs Debbie. "If a guy has good credentials he can front up at job interviews with a day old stubble and smart casual clothes and get away with it but women are always expected to be immaculately groomed and wearing the dreaded interview suit, whether or not the job requires formal clothing."

"And while some men can get away with outrageous behavior at interviews - one guy I know jumped on the interview table and danced his way into a tech job," says Debbie, "women are always expected to behave themselves."

Debbie is at the stage of her job search where she is reaping the rewards of laying a solid foundation before she presented herself to the world. She took time off to enjoy herself after leaving college, and then she set about a very systematic job search.

She wrote a great CV, networked like mad and targeted the jobs she really wanted. The interview calls came in thick and fast. In the first week she had four interviews, the second of which was absolutely awful.

The job was advertised as a personal assistant to the manager of a golf distribution company. It was a small company and Debbie liked that. Plenty of opportunities to take on responsibilities, become indispensible and earn big money.

"As I left the elevator and walked up the corridor to where the office was situated," says Debbie, "I noticed a very small man who leered at me lasciviously as I passed by. His eyes went up and down my body like he was measuring me for his bed."

Thinking no more of it, Debbie entered the office and presented herself to the receptionist. She was then ushered into the manager's office and told to wait a while. Passing the time, Debbie picked up some golfing magazines and tried to figure out why it's such a popular game for guys. She then got up and tried a swing with one of the clubs that was lying around the office, and just then the door opened and the manager entered.

"It was the guy in the corridor," laughs Debbie. "The slime-ball took my hand and caressed it rather than shook it, and then motioned for me to sit next to him on the sofa. It was going to be one of those intimate interviews!"

"He was not at all interested in my credentials," says Debbie. "He told me he needed 'mothering' and looked at my chest to see whether I would qualify. I nearly died with embarrassment."

Realizing that she could never work with this man in a million years, Debbie excused herself from the interview and made a hurried exit.

Unlike Debbie, most male job applicants would take it as a sign of success if a female interviewer flirted with them, or looked them up and down, even if the lady was old enough to be their mother or grossly unattractive.

Female job applicants, on the other hand, want to be judged on their merits not on their their looks - unless, of course, the job depended upon physical attractiveness and socializing with the boss was an expected part of the job.

In Debbie's case, the advertised job did not say anything about social activities, event management and that sort of thing so she had no reason to expect that it was going to be anything other than a regular job.

If that were not bad enough, then a female-female interviewer-interviewee situation is fraught with difficulties, too.

"Not necessarily worse than a male-male interviewer-interviewee situation," laughs Debbie, "but it often is because female interviewers are notorious for noticing those little slips in grooming in other women and asking those highly touchy questions that male interviewers overlook. They are are also likely to be less courteous than male interviewers."

"Frankly, even with the prospect of being ogled by old men and accepted or rejected on my attractiveness," says Debbie, "I prefer to be interviewed by males."

"Female interviewers know our secrets," explains Debbie, "men don't!"

winners and losers at work

Television shows like Survivor turn Cassidy, 24, cold because they promote conniving, brutal and judgmental people as winners and honest, caring and tolerant people as losers, and carried into the workplace this sort of behavior causes unecessary stress and discord.

"I realize that the promoters of these shows feel that they're only showing what goes on in real life, and in that respect they may think they're helping everyone become a winner," says Cassidy, "but nobody is a real winner in these shows and anyone who thinks that real life is about lying, cheating, backstabbing and making and breaking alliances is really, really stupid."

"In a real life and death survival situation co-operation would be absolutely paramount," says Cassidy, "and in real life, on everyday mundane levels, you can't get by without co-operation either."

"If you want to end up like a solitary Robinson Crusoe on your island," laughs Cassidy, "kicking people off so you can hog all the food and goodies is the way to go. But anyone who has read that wonderful book, or seen the film, knows that what Robinson Crusoe yearned for most on his island wasn't a million dollars."

"He wanted human company, someone to share his thoughts, someone to reflect back at him who he was."

"My parents raised me to be an honest, caring and tolerant person," says Cassidy, "and now that I've left home to make my own way in the world I'm becoming appalled at the many people who are being sucked in by the crass values portrayed in these sort of television shows."

"At work, people are actually following the tactics of the players in Survivor in order to get ahead," laughs Cassidy. "They form alliances and conspire to discredit or get rid of someone they see as a threat."

"I stay completely out of their silly games because they're just that - silly!"

"I'm just new here so I'm no threat to anyone," laughs Cassidy, "but there'll probably come a time when they'll want to get rid of me, too."

"With a game that requires lying, cheating, backstabbing and making and breaking alliances there is absolutely no trust, no real friendship, no sense of camaraderie and no real productivity in this workplace."

"Everyone is watching their backs, wearing two faces and acting like they're on a survival mission rather than enjoying their time together."

"What's smart about this sort of existence?" asks Cassidy.

"What's worse is that management seems to encourage the Survivor game being played out at work. I guess they think that they'll end up with the best workers, but in actuality they'll just end up with the worst workers!"

"There are other television shows besides Survivor that promote ridiculous behavior," says Cassidy, "and I see it all being played out at work and in social situations."

"There's a girl at work who thinks she's a witch and can put spells on people," laughs Cassidy, "and it's so pathetic watching her trying to manipulate people by witchcraft. She's basically a nice girl and if she'd only switch off television and read some decent books she'd be fine."

"I think that my generation was raised in front of a television and not everyone had parents like I did who monitored what we watched and how much time we spent being mesmerized by the small screen."

"When you've grown up with a television as your babysitter and your only source of entertainment and learning," says Cassidy, "I guess your reality is what you absorb through the television. It's more powerful than anything else."

"I don't suppose there's any profit for television producers to screen shows where the winners are honest, caring and tolerant people," sighs Cassidy. "A re-run of Little House on the Prairie is hardly likely to rake in as much money as the so-called reality shows!"

"But these shows are not reality as far as I'm concerned," says Cassidy, "and I resent television producers shaping our society in the irresponsible way they do."

"There are enough conniving, brutal and judgmental people in the world without these shows encouraging more of them," says Cassidy. "The real winners of this world are always going to be honest, caring and tolerant people and if the Survivor show cared to compare the real lives of it's so-called winners and losers it would undoubtedly prove my point."

"No, I'm not a meak, mild Jesus freak or anything like that," laughs Cassidy. "I just hate it when people at work feel a need to cheat and mistreat others in order to get ahead. Shows like Survivor are doing more to divide us than bring us together and not even 9/11 woke us up to how much we to need to cooperate with each other in order to really survive."

Cassidy's story first appeared as tv survivor at work and is reprinted with permission.

the workplace ogre

Jin and her husband, Rick, were both out of work and she was thrilled to find another job before their money ran out -  until she discovered, among other things, that she has to work with a really nasty and abusive co-worker. A real ogre!

"I want to quit this job immediately, and find another job while my self-esteem is still high," explains Jan, "but Rick urged me to stick it out."

"If you are forced to spend eight hours with a person, day in day out," says Jin, "you want that person to be civil. I put up with years of abuse from my brothers and sisters because I was the baby of the family, and I’m not going to put up with this sort of behavior from co-workers. I couldn’t quit my family, but I can quit this lousy job - but I'm torn between my feelings and what Rick wants!"

"It's often only when you actually start a job and get to know everyone that you realize there’s a problem," says Jin. "Like most job applicants, I wasn’t given an opportunity to meet my prospective co-workers at the interview stage, but even if I had been given that opportunity they would probably have been on their best behavior."

"My interview was conducted solely via the HR Department," says Jin, "and I’m now wise to what this means."

 It means a veritable ogre is waiting for you!"

"There is no clause in my work contract upholding my right to a safe, harmonious working environment," says Jin. "Nevertheless, I feel that the company still has a duty of care to provide such for me."

"I am being constantly harassed, abused and belittled by a co-worker and I feel that my employer is in breach of some sort of duty towards me under occupational health and safety compliance laws."

"I’m not going to bother lodging an official complaint," says Jin. "Complaining got me nowhere as a kid, and it won’t get me anywhere at work either. In fact, it will make matters worse. It will become part of my work history and will jeopardize my future career."

"When employment gurus and all the ‘how to’ books out there maintain that the only acceptable reason for resigning a job is a desire to expand one's horizons, having achieved all one is capable of doing in one's present job and being regretful that one must leave such a wonderful job with a wonderful boss, manager and co-workers, people like me are too scared to complain and as a consequence bullying continues to flourish in workplaces."

"My co-workers are fully aware of what is going on," says Jin, "but just like people do not want to interfere in marital difficulties, people do not want to get involved in workplace difficulties either."

"They expect me to deal with it without complaining. That’s the culture to which I is expected to conform. And, having no support from my husband makes my situation even more miserable."

"There are always other factors involved in the decision to quit besides an abusive or hostile workplace," says Jin, "but it’s generally accepted that conflict with a boss, manager or co-worker underlies most resignations. I could put up with it - I think - from a boss or manager because they are not in my face all the time, but this ogre sits right next to me and I can't get away from her."

Read more of Jin's story:

marriage, a supportive partnership

signs your job is in trouble

Juanita has had more job and relationship troubles than the average woman, and has learned a great deal from her mistakes. She is now a happily married stay at home wife but dearly wants to find a stable job.

"Signs of a job or a relationship breakdown have similarities," says Juanita, "Let's start with job jeopardy first."

"No sooner than finding a job, you’re likely to be out of it without notice," says Juanita. "Sometimes, there are no early signs, and by the time the obvious signs hit you it's too late to make a graceful exit."

"For women who are in stressful situations like this it is difficult to see the wood for the trees."

"The obvious signs of job jeopardy," says Juanita, "include such manipulative measures as being given a special project that stinks, a less senior person getting promoted over you, superiors becoming uncommunicative, your minor mistakes suddenly being seen as major mistakes, being no longer invited to after-hours functions, your PC mysteriously starting to play up, things disappearing off your desk, strange things appearing on your desk, being moved without warning, learning that team meetings are held when you're away, managers and co-workers avoiding you and either being given less work or inundated with extra work."

"I've experienced all of these obvious manipulative behaviors in the jobs I've had," laughs Juanita, "and some happened so soon after I started the job that it was difficult to tell whether this was normal for the job or whether they were blatantly trying to get rid of me quickly!"

"The obvious signs of relationship jeopardy," says Juanita, "include such manipulative measures as the guy talking a lot more about other women than he does about you, sleeping in the study saying he doesn't want to disturb you, becoming uncommunicative or critical towards you, no longer taking you out or buying you gifts, taking calls in private, opening a post office box for his mail, removing his belongings from your place, spending more and more time away from home, finding incriminating things he has hidden in sometimes not-to-secret places, buying new clothes, getting a make-over, joining a gym, finding tell-tale marks on his clothes and realizing that his friends and family are avoiding you."

"I've experienced all of these obvious manipulative behaviors in the relationships I've had, too," laughs Juanita, "and while it's more difficult to spot the obvious signs with guys you're dating than with the guys you're married to, it's basically the same old routine."

"Over and above signs that are obvious for jobs or relationships," explains Juanita, "there are obvious signs for both situations and these include receiving telephone hang-ups, they can’t look you in the eye, or if they do it is done brazenly, they touch parts of their face, particularly the nose - always a good sign of deception, they speak rapidly, they change the subject, there are inappropriate silences in conversations, they stop talking when you enter the room and when you inquire 'is anything wrong?' they deny it."

Juanita says that there are plenty more obvious signs that can be added to all the ones she's mentioned, but she's covered the basics and the rest are peculiar to specific situations.

"I have honed my intuition sufficiently not to face too many obvious signs of manipulative behavior these days," says Juanita, "but because these signs are happening earlier in jobs and relationships because of the uncertain times we live in, I believe we should all be prepared to face unpleasantness and do our best not to rationalize what is happening."

"When we receive obvious signs," says Juanita, "our situation has gone beyond the early warning stage. By then, we are in deep trouble and probably past the stage at which we can mend the situation."

Juanita feels that paying attention to these signs and accepting that our job or relationship is ending is far smarter, and healthier for us, than ignoring the signs and carrying on regardless.

"While it would be so much easier if those doing the deceiving were candid and did not have to resort to this bizarre behavior," she says, "it is really no more bizarre than ours if we are rationalizing it."

"By remaining in a job or a relationship where the signs are pretty clear that something is very wrong," says Juanita, "we are deceiving ourselves. We are acting in a bizarre manner, too."

Juanita had to educate herself to become an intuitive woman. She is now able to read the early signs of trouble very quickly, and when there are obvious signs of trouble without the early signs she has trained herself to act swiftly and appropriately to what is happening around her.

Whether the signs indicate that a job is going down the gurgler, or a relationship is, Juanita feels that it is her responsibility to tune in and act quickly, saving herself a lot of anguish down the line.

"If I knew then, what I know now," sighs Juanita, "I could have had a beautiful life. It's all very well for myself - and others - to rationalize that without meeting so many Mr Wrongs I would never have met Mr Right, but the fact is that if I had been smart I would never have got involved with so many Mr Wrongs to start off with."

Juanita was 51 - yes, 51 - when she met her Mr Right and intends to take full responsibility for making the rest of her life beautiful.

"As for the jobs," sighs Juanita, "I can't do much about the outsourcing and downsizing and all the other stuff that causes so much uncertainly and strange behavior in workplaces. I'm just lucky that I'm married and don't need a job so desperately that I have to put up with that sort of bad treatment any more."

(Juanita's story first appeared as jeopardy signs and is reprinted with permission.)

jabbering idiots

As a result of the company she works for taking on board a policy of employing friends and relatives of existing workers rather than advertising new positions as they become available, Leigh is the only white woman left in her department and she is treated badly by the new employees.

"The company was once a very open and friendly place to work," complains Leigh, "but over the years it has become almost incestuous with an employment policy that favors cheap immigrant family labor."

"My employer is quite happy to appoint someone’s daughter, sister, mother or aunt because it saves on advertising the job," explains Leigh. "And while it's saving my employer money it's costing me my mental health."

"In my last job noise was a big problem" says Leigh. "I found it impossible to keep track of what I was doing when I sat next to the fax machine buzzing all day and the person in the next cubicle was also annoying me."

"He had a habit of speaking too loudly, and too often, and when he wasn't talking he was humming loudly."

"When he realized it annoyed me," sighs Leigh, "he did it deliberately. This sort of thing can drive you nuts in a very short time and I was so glad to leave that place and come here."

"Now, I'm finding how horrible it is to be working on a team with people who are related to each other, especially because they are of a different ethnic group and deliberately jabber in their native tongue all day around me."

"When I started here four years ago there was one ethnic lady on my team and we all got along well," says Leigh. "But then, as people left she got a relative of hers to take over the vacant positions."

"I am now on a team made up entirely of her relatives!"

"I am stuck in a small workplace where I have to put up with these women actually talking and laughing about me - using my name quite clearly in their foreign language," says Leigh "and it is driving me insane."

"They look after each other and make decisions without my input," says Leigh "and they have totally alienated me."

"Their language is totally foreign to me so they honestly do sound like jabbering idiots," says Leigh, "and to make matters worse they bring in their strange smelling food that make me feel nauseous."

"Whole days go by when they don't speak to me at all - even though they speak English perfectly," says Leigh "and you have no idea how depressing it is to be ignored in the way they are ignoring me. I try to start up a conversation and they just giggle and jabber and pretend they don't hear me."

"It's pretty obvious that they are trying to get me to resign so that they can get another one of their relatives into my job," says Leigh, "but I am 48 and it is not going to be easy for me to find another job - especially one so near where I live."

"I live down the road from my workplace - whereas these women come from the outer suburbs," says Leigh, "so even if I do find another job I will be forced to pass this place every day."

"It's no use talking to management about my situation because they must know what the situation is - they caused it!"

"I know that these women are earning a lot less money than I am" sighs Leigh "So it's definitely in management's interests to get rid of me, too."

"I've put up with this situation now for over a year and I'm really in a bind about it. One on one, these women are OK, but put them together and they're like jabbering jackals."

"I live alone and I have nobody to cheer me up when I get home," says Leigh, "and I suppose that works against me too."

"I would never take a job where I would be the odd man out," says Leigh, "so this situation has developed around me and I had no idea it would end up the way it has."

"I'm drinking a lot more now than I ever did," confesses Leigh. "It's not good to be drinking alone is it?"

"When I look at nature and see how many native species have been wiped out by introduced species I get to feel that perhaps I am being wiped out too."

"Maybe they have better survival instincts than I do and deserve to take over the place."

"It's survival of the fittest out there, isn't it?"

"I'm glad I never had any children because thanks to greedy types like my employer this land will soon be taken over by another race and I can't bear to think of the type of life white children will have in the future."

(Leigh's story first appeared as mother tongues and is reprinted with permission.)

unfair performance reviews

Vera is 29, single, sharing an apartment and recently changed jobs after receiving an unfair performance review from the new manager at her old job - an ogre who took an instant dislike to the vivacious and career minded young woman.

"I've kept copies of all of my performance reviews," says Vera. "Mostly they are glowing records of my performance - results exceeding requirements and expectations - but some are nothing more than records of dissonance between myself and a manager that have nothing whatsoever to do with my job performance."

"Granted," says Vera, "we do not live in a perfect world and in the workplace, as at school, and in families, we all face the prospect of being evaluated by some small-minded person who takes an instant dislike to us and abuses his or her position of authority to demean us."

"However, when performance reviews are used as a personal vendetta, or as a cunning method to get rid of staff, I believe that this is discrimination at its lowest."

"The only assignment from my schooldays that I decided to retain is an essay that bears the scrawl of a really small-minded man," says Vera. "I was twelve years old, blooming into adulthood, brimming with ideas and in love with life."

"Looking at the essay now I can appreciate that it is not exactly brilliant, but for a twelve year old it is still pretty good. And yet that moron who taught me English and History that year marked it with the distain and spite of someone who probably aspired to be a famous literary critic but was stuck for life in a job as a poorly paid teacher."

"His concluding remarks were: 'What a precocious child you are, this subject is far too complex for you - stick to dolls', says Vera. "At the time I had no idea what the word ‘precocious’ meant and even after I learned its meaning I did not take his comment as being the least bit complimentary. Having ideas beyond what is expected - by virtue of age, gender, social position or place on the career ladder - is both a curse and a blessing."

"People who do not aim to better the world, or themselves," says Vera, "have a far easier life than those who do. I wanted so much to shine in my own right. I was fed up being overshadowed by my sister and brother, and I was prepared to work twice as hard as anybody in order to make a mark on the world."

Vera is the type of person who derives enormous pleasure from accomplishing the impossible. Within workplaces run by managers who appreciate initiative, creativity and monumental hard work she was rewarded with almost embarrassing accolades when performance evaluations were carried out. However, within workplaces run by mean-spirited little Hitlers who want everything done according to the book, even when the book is riddled with worms, her performance reviews were distinguished by remarks very similar to those of her moronic English-History teacher.

"One of my first performance reviews," laughs Vera, "went as follows - ‘you have been employed here as a Researcher, not a Director or even a Manager, and in performing the duties of a Researcher you have consistently failed to meet the position's requirements and expectations’."

However, the performance review most remarkable for its gross unfairness is one Vera recently received from a place she had worked for two years very happily until a fair and pleasant boss was replaced by an ogre.

This woman took an instant dislike to Vera and another employee, who is also one of Vera’s roommates, and she virtually set them up to fail their performance reviews.

"She singled us out to be, in effect, her personal assistants," explains Vera, "and set out to make our lives misery. She was an absolute slave-driver. Given a whip, she would have used it on us!"

"The endless menial tasks she gave us to do bore no resemblance whatsoever to what we were supposed to be doing, but we carried them out with gritted teeth and tried very hard not to cave in with the stress and humiliation of it all."

"Shortly after, our performance reviews were held and the ogre produced a list of all the tasks she had given us - most of which we had forgotten about, or deemed too trivial to be given priority over our regular work - and proceeded to tell us that because we had not performed these tasks to her satisfaction she was recommending our discharge."

"The ogre's list had columns for the dates, times and results of each trivial little task she had given us," laughs Vera. "Our regular work was entirely overlooked."

"We were being judged on arbitrary tasks, totally unrelated to our roles!"

"In a court of law, this list would have been torn to shreds, but we weren’t interested in pursuing the matter legally. Life's too short for that sort of thing. We just quit! Since she had taken over, that workplace had become so toxic that it was exhiliarating to walk out of it for the last time and breathe some fresh air."

"This story would have had a different ending," says Vera, "had we not been financially secure. We could have been out of work for months. We could have been evicted from our apartment and got into all manner of financial and personal difficulties as a result of the discriminatory actions of that ogre."

When performance reviews are used unfairly as a means by which a mean manager or boss can get rid of staff he or she does not like personally, Vera believes that we should all be very wary of management changes as well as sudden changes in duties.

Vera believes that a bona fide performance review should cover the key responsibilities of a job, and should not include new duties that have been foisted onto you just prior to the performance review date.

"If new duties are to be allocated to you," says Vera, "then they should be raised at the performance review, thus giving you a chance to come up with some goals regarding how you intend to carry these duties out. For instance, if your new duties involve re-organizing the client and product databases then you would want to say something about how you intend to maintain quality and consistency, what extra costs the task would involve, and how long you plan on taking to do the job."

"In other words, you are setting goals for your new duties that will be assessed at the next performance review."

Bearing in mind that the whole purpose of a performance review is to see how you set goals and accomplish them, Vera believes that it is grossly unfair for a manager to review your performance on new duties that were foisted upon you prior to the review.

"It is a good idea, too," says Vera, "to be aware of other factors that are assessed in performance reviews because these can, and often are, used against you. But on no account should these factors take precedence over regular duties."

Immediately before performance reviews Vera accepts that some situations are deliberately 'contrived’ in order to assess one's ability to think on the spot.

"For instance," says Vera, "if you receive a telephone call from a very rude client watch what you say. The client is probably a plant or the call is being monitored!"

"Another contrived situation," confides Vera, "is a sudden and unexpected workload at 5pm - don't go home before prioritizing what's important and what's not!"

"A very loud and angry argument between two managers happening within earshot is another contrived situation," says Vera. "Don't pretend you didn’t hear it - you are expected to foster harmony by interceding with a quick-thinking resolution for their problem!"

Interpreting performance reviews causes a lot of confusion. Vera believes that very few people receive an ‘Exceeds Expectation’ performance review for the simple reason that many of the critical success factors are unknown, or are unreasonable to be expected to be met.

"Far more common," she says, "is an ‘Achieves Expectations’ performance review where you exceeded expectations in some areas, and just met them in others - or a ‘Needs Improvement’ performance review where you just met some, but not all expectations."

"As for the ‘Unacceptable’ performance review, well," says Vera, "it often says more about the manager carrying out the review than it does about you and if you remain in the company long enough to get your say in a performance review of superiors then by all means tell it like it is!"

"The purpose of performance reviews of superiors by staff is for those who have been judged to do some judging themselves, and believe it or not," says Vera, "but company executives do take notice of comments made about managers by staff."

"Poor reviews of managers by staff can, and do, get some lousy managers justifiably fired," laughs Vera, "and it was a pity we that didn’t have the opportunity to use our clout to get that ogre fired before she used her clout to get rid of us."

pressured to perform

Rita is 43 and has a husband earning a six-figure salary but claims that it does not make life any easier for her when she is under constant pressure to perform at work.

"We are working people with bills to pay, just like everyone else," says Rita. and I'm working because I have children to educate, not because I love my job."

Actually, Rita is beginning to hate her job.

She was recently given an ultimatum to meet a quota or lose her job.

"This ultimatum has put me under a great deal of pressure," says Rita. "but I appreciate that it's happening to more and more sales staff these days."

Rita says that to take this type of ultimatum personally -- as a reflection of our worth, or as an act of discrimination, rather than as an economic reality reflecting the current cut-throat competitive market -- only makes the situation worse.

"If we were no good, they would have fired us outright," explains Rita.

However, having the Sword of Damocles hanging over their heads puts Rita and her sales crew in an emotionally charged situation that is likely to affect their ability to meet any sort of quota - and this could lead to their being unfairly discriminated against.

"It is additional pressure in an already highly pressured job," says Rita, "and with all the traumas involved in raising children and having a husband who really doesn't want me to work, my life has become very messy."

She appreciates that in order to remain in business companies have to sell sufficient numbers of a product or service to meet costs.

"Looking at the competitive global economy, management would have to be a bunch of nitwits in order to fail to understand that sales are down primarily because competition from China is tough," says Rita, "and not because the sales staff is performing badly."

Rita and the sales crew feel that because the product they’re selling is hard to sell at the best of times, their company would do better to start diversifying rather than holding out and making life tougher for everyone by adopting a fire and retain policy according to performance.

"Because Annie and Olivia have always performed under par, they were fired outright," says Rita. "Myself and Carrie were put on warning because we have always just met quotas. Joe and Bill have always exceeded quotas, and were retained."

By firing Annie and Olivia the company cut costs, but this put a lot of extra pressure on the remaining sales staff.

Rita and Carrie were put on warning with words to the effect that if sales don't improve, their jobs are next to go; and things were not looking much better for Joe and Bill either.

"In these circumstances," laughs Rita, "Annie and Olivia were the lucky ones!"

Rita appreciates that the company is not in business to provide jobs for her or anyone else. It is in business to sell a product and if nobody is buying then jobs have to be sacrificed.

"This sort of lay-off is not an underhanded way of boosting profits," says Rita, "and as hard as it was to farewell Annie and Olivia nobody blames the company for doing what it has to do."

"What does constitute unreasonableness in this situation," says Rita, "is an expectation by management that sales quotas remain unchanged. With strong competition from China even the top performers are not going to meet the old quotas. So, if the quota does not change to reflect the times then it would appear that management is slave driving us for no good reason."

Rather than working her guts out trying to meet an impossible quota and being fired unfairly down the line as an incompetent saleswoman, Rita might well decide to quit while she is ahead and take her chances elsewhere - or maybe just stay home and be a housewife for a while.

Obviously, if the product is hard to sell in good times then in tough times it is going to be even tougher to flog the stuff.

"Rather than maximizing profits, I feel that management should aim to break even by setting a minimum sales quota," says Rita. "It would be appropriate, too, for management to take a salary cut. If Annie and Olivia had to be fired then it does not look good if management hangs on to its fat cat status. In tough times everyone buckles up, and if management is sincere then it will make sacrifices, too, but it doesn't look like that's the case."

Rita is doing some serious thinking. Her job is on the line. All of the remaining sales crew are critically analyzing the product they are selling and asking themselves whether their heart and soul is in it.

Do they believe in the product? Would they buy it themselves? Would they recommend it to their mother? Is it something people need?

They are also critically analyzing the company they are working for. Is it a good company? Does it pay well? Does it look after its employees? Is it well managed? Has it been in business long? Is it able to diversify?

Then there's the new quota. Is it one that they can reasonably achieve in the current economic situation? If they tried just a little bit harder could they actually make the numbers? Is there a market they have not yet explored? Can they do it? Do they want to do it?

And finally they are critically examining the economic situation and world affairs - short-term and long-term - paying particular attention to what jobs are available and are likely to remain in demand. Do they have the skills to do them, or can they easily gain such skills?

Depending upon the analysis, Rita should have a very clear feeling about what she needs to do.

"If I need to move on," explains Rita, "then it's better to do it early before the stress and strain of meeting impossible expectations wears me down."

Women like Rita, who have a lot of pressure and responsibilities at home, just can’t cope with increasing pressure at work and they may very well resign their jobs on this account only.

Being told to meet a quota or lose your job is, in itself, a pressure that few people can tolerate.

The option to quit, of course, is a luxury that married women can exert more easily than a single woman - especially a single working mother.

"In that respect," laughs Rita, "I suppose I am very lucky."

working for dr. pavlov

Jacqueline is 32, a stay home mom with three children and a degree in psychology that she decided to put to use by working online for a market research company.

"The work sounded interesting and the pay was not wonderful, but enough," says Jacqueline, "but what really attracted me to the job was that I could do it online, at home, in my own sweet time."

"The job would have been wonderful," laughs Jacqueline, "but their site was down half of the time and I wasted more time trying to log on than I did doing the work."

"One particular weekend I sat at my computer like a blithering idiot pressing 'enter' a hundred or more times trying to get the site to accept my logon and upload my work," explains Jacqueline, "and it was at that point that I started to think of Dr Pavlov."

"I rang the company and was told to be patient because they had technical difficulties," says Jacqueline, "but that didn't deter me."

"I had no idea what drove me to try again and again," laughs Jacqueline. "No, I do. It was that cursed 'try again later' message that appeared on my screen. It taunted me. It aroused in me some primeval survival instinct that I never knew I possessed."

"For that entire weekend my life was consumed by a dogged determination to outwit that 'try again later' message," sighs Jacqueline, "and at times I was sure I saw an evil Dr Pavlov's image onscreen smirking at me and mouthing 'try again' you poor deluded woman!"

"Finally, I got connected and I breathed a sigh of relief when I was able to upload my work," says Jacqueline, "but my relief was short-lived. because two days later I was hit with a keyboard problem. The period key was stuck and it was only by cutting and pasting a period from a saved document that I was able to type my work and communicate with the Net. Try typing www without a period after it and see how far you get!"

"That did it as far as I was concerned," laughs Jacqueline. "It was exactly my seventh week working online and I cannot remember ever experiencing so much hassle. It was bizarre. It was surrealistic. I was caught in a curious web of ecstasy and frustration and I needed to get away from it for a week in order to gain the necessary perspective to analyze the situation."

"I came to the conclusion that I wasn't cut out for online work."

"I also came to the conclusion that the Internet, itself, is a vehicle for an ongoing study into women, human nature, intelligence, addiction, stupidity, whatever," laughs Jacqueline. "The Net, with the millions of computers hooked into it, is the biggest reality show going - a vast social experiment - and all of the hapless humans staring into cyberspace are its unwitting participants."

"Even the jargon of the Net - they call us 'users' - is a term of addiction."

"Forget about Survivor and Big Brother and all of the other contrived nonsense out there," says Jacqueline. "The Net is the real thing and the mastermind behind it is probably the same Dr Salivating Pavlov who runs the market research company that tricked me into working for it!"

"And he's not just an ordinary Dr Pavlov - he's an evil Dr Pavlov," laughs Jacqueline. "And of course he's a man - no woman has the desire, capacity or time to design such an evil monstrosity as a website that is down half of the time. He wasn't interested in my work -- or that of the other women who supposedly worked for the company -- he was interested in us as 'users'."

"I believe that the site was based on the classical elements of a psychological experiment," confides Jacqueline.

"It was designed to manipulate its users into frenzied use making addicts and salivating dogs of us."

"Hardly a day went by when there wasn't some technical difficulty at that site," says Jacqueline, "and I truly believe that Dr Pavlov and his henchmen were collecting data to gauge our reaction to being denied access to the site. It was, after all, a market research company!"

"He was assessing how many of us accepted the crashes and technical difficulties with equanimity and a salivating desire to get back on the treadmill - oops wrong experiment - and how many of us asked sensible questions such as: What sort of system is this? What caused the crash? What is being done to prevent this sort of thing happening again?"

"Think about it," says Jacqueline. "Someone has to do market research on computer and Internet users and how much they tolerate. No wonder the hardware and software necessary for accessing the Net is so full of flaws. There's a patch for this and a patch for that -- and if cable doesn't play up then it's the monitor or keyboard. Why don't they get it right the first time?"

"I'll tell you why," laughs Jacqueline. "Dr Pavlov gets us addicted and then we're like mad salivating dogs dripping with eagerness to put up with whatever shock treatment he delivers to us."

"Sure," says Jacqueline, "money is involved but it's much more than that. Dr Pavlov may want to make lots of moolah from his cruel experiments on his 'users' but his intentions are bigger than that. He clearly wants to take over the world."

"When Dr Pavlov deliberately slows down the system with spam or a new virus he is causing so much salivating that the dribbles must short-circuit keyboards all over the world - and this is a clue," laughs Jacqueline. "If we all self-destructed on our dribbles - by electrocution - then Dr Pavlov would have wiped out most of the world's population leaving him free to start his own diabolical regime."

"I didn't know whether it was better to self-destruct on my dribbles or hang around to become part of the new regime," says Jacqueline, "so I hung around for a while longer, to keep an eye on things, and effectively became a hostage of Dr Pavlov and -- like the Stockholm hostage syndrome -- I began to like the guy, and that was a worry."

"The choice was mine," says Jacqueline. "Did I want to be part of this giant reality show as a dribbling dog or did I want to return to my humdrum life? Did I want to ride the roller coaster, or pop ping-pong balls into clown's mouths? Did I want to salivate, or dry up?"

"I lived in expectation of the next dastardly challenge that Dr Pavlov may have in store for me," confides Jacqueline. "If I didn't self-destruct on dribbles would he send killer sound waves through my computer to deafen me or killer visual effects to blind me?"

"Luckily for my sanity, my husband could see what was happening to me and told me to quit the job," says Jacqueline. "Dr Pavlov was most upset to lose me, and coyly pretended not to understand my reason -- 'that dribbles do not become me' -- and now I'm wondering what toxic job I am likely to face next."

sexual harassment

Candice is 26, married and pregnant, and grew up with a gay brother so it's nothing new to her that men are attracted to other men, but at the place where she works there are two older female managers who just can't accept that any man wouldn't find them attractive.

"I remember my childhood being perfect until my brother, Sam, announced he was gay at the age of 16," reflects Candice. "My parents were outraged, disowning him and forcing him out of the house and I felt so sorry for him and guilty that I couldn’t do anything to help him."

"When Roger joined my team at work he immediately reminded me of my brother Sam," sighs Candice. "It was his first job and like everyone else I thought I was working for an enlightened company, but things that happened to Roger made me realize how wrong I was."

"Roger made no effort to hide the fact that he was gay," explains Candice. "On the contrary, he wore his sexuality with pride and if he noticed that the attention he was getting from two of the senior women was anything other than playful he did not show it."

"He took all the ‘gay bashing’ in good humor, and because he laughed at my discomfort with the situation -- and refused to co-operate with me in lodging a formal complaint -- I decided to butt out and mind my own business."

"Roger did not complain. He actually seemed to enjoy it."

"You see," says Candice, "Roger was incredibly attractive and these two women were attracted to him. Hardly a day would go by without one of trying to tempt him into a sexual liaison."

"When it became clear that Roger couldn't be tempted, they got revenge by playing pranks on him."

"They hid his lunch in a filing cabinet one day and told him to follow his nose if he wanted to find it," says Candice, "and on another occasion they poured ink over the blue fabric of his chair causing him to walk around all day with a blue butt."

"Through these, and the many other ‘playful’ indignities that he had to put up with, Roger kept on laughing."

"Until the Xmas party."

"The company had opted for a pool of gifts, where each employee would pick a name out of a hat and buy something of particular interest for the person whose name they had picked," explains Candice. "On reflection, I feel that the name-picking exercise had been rigged. One of the gay bashing female managers got a slip of paper with Roger's name on it."

"A lot of snickering was heard between these two women in the days that followed," says Candice, "and I suspected that they had a surprise in store for Roger. But I had no idea of the lengths to which they would go to humiliate him."

"On the last day of work for the year, at the Xmas party, in front of invited clients and staff from the office next door, the gift exchange took place."

"The CEO was master of ceremonies and picked up one prettily wrapped parcel after another, calling up the recipient to collect and open his or her gift for all to see."

"There were lots of oooohs and aaaahs as some really nice gifts were unwrapped," says Candice, "and one by one the recipients returned to their seats wreathed in Xmas smiles."

"And then Roger's name was called."

"He bounced up to the front of the office, his face beaming with delight, and took the gift from the CEO."

"As he unwrapped it, I caught a glimpse of something pink, and then there were gales of laughter from the two women when Roger fully exposed what one of them had bought for him."

"It was a pair of ugly pink rubber gloves and a jar of Vaseline."

"Roger's face dropped. Tears welled in his eyes. I died in my seat for him."

"And then, as if to save himself from crying and bringing victory to his tormentors," says Candice, "he brushed the tears from his eyes and started to laugh as loudly as he could."

"Everyone laughed when Roger laughed," says Candice, "but I didn't. I still feel sad and uncomfortable when I remember this incident and it's unfortunate that Roger's good humor acted to hide his true feelings right from the very start."

"He assured me that he wasn't bothered by the behavior of the two senior women," says Candice. "but at some level he must have been, and I feel so bad for not following my intuition and doing something to stop them -- what, I don't know -- but I should have tried."

"It’s true that if you’re not part of the solution then you’re part of the problem, and I’m ashamed that this has happened to me twice -- first with my brother Sam, and then with Roger."

"Because I'm pregnant I'll be leaving this toxic environment soon," says Candice, "but I worry about what will happen to Roger."

"I feel that had Roger spoken out from the first day of this harassment, rather than hiding his true feelings, the situation would not have escalated to the point where he was publicly humiliated," says Candice, "but when you're starting a new job I guess you don't want to rock the boat."

"Sexual harassment is something that men are often accused of by women," says Candice, "but it happens to them, too. And when you’re on a team, working closely with people every day, vulnerable people do get picked on and if everyone just stands by and lets it happen then they are as guilty as the perpetrators. And that's why I feel bad."

"These two women would have been the first to scream blue murder had any man even inadvertently offended their female sensitivies," says Candice, "and knowing that they gained their positions of power by affirmative action it's inexcusable that they would take advantage of it to harass a poor gay male in his first job."

tailoring resumes to jobs

Stephanie, 28, believes a mistake many jobseekers make is to use the same resume for every job they apply for. She has two basic resumes -- one upmarket and one downmarket -- and alters them slightly for each position she applies for according to the particular requirements of the employer.

"I'm not only looking for the job I want but also a bill paying job to tide me over," says Stephanie. "I use the basic upmarket resume for the jobs I want, and the basic downmarket resume for the bill paying jobs. Once you've got these two basic resumes, it's really not too much of a hassle to tailor them to particular jobs."

Right now, only two of Stephanie’s roommates have a job and they are carrying her and two more unemployed girls until they get a job. Stephanie is hopeful of getting the job she wants, but if that doesn’t happen within a month then she is willing to take on an immediate bill paying job.

Her job seeking knowledge and skills are excellent and she enjoys helping the other two unemployed roommates target jobs in a more professional manner.

For the type of job Stephanie wants, her basic upmarket resume accentuates her educational qualifications, skills and experience in that order. She puts her qualifications at the top of the body of her resume and makes them bold. She makes them jump out at the person responsible for doing the culling of job applications.

For those who are not good at presentation formatting, Stephanie suggests getting a professional to type their upmarket resume.

"For the type of job you want - especially if it was advertised on the Net - there are going to be hundreds if not thousands of applicants and from all over the world, too," says Stephanie. "You need to make your resume stand out from everyone else's and while the number of degrees and diplomas you have may not necessarily get you the job, it might just give you the edge in the selection process. Take advantage of that edge."

"Unless you were required to do so," warns Stephanie, "do not spoil the impression of your upmarket resume by including your academic results. That is far too much information. If your degree or diploma was conferred recently or a long time ago, this may go against you, so I think it’s a good idea to omit the year. Use your judgment."

"The same goes for the name of the institution conferring the qualification," says Stephanie. "If it is a well-known university or college, play it up. If it isn’t, then use your judgment on whether it might be better to omit its name."

"For the basic upmarket resume," says Stephanie, "you also need to place your most upmarket skills first (eg managing, analyzing, etc) and omit your downmarket skills (eg typing, telephone skills, etc)."

"It is also a good idea," says Stephanie, "to omit any short-term downmarket jobs you have had recently, or play them up so that they do not sound as downmarket as they really were. And do not be too specific about the dates either!"

"Saving space on a resume is important," says Stephanie, "so drop what might be used against you and highlight what employers need to know."

Following is an example of what Stephanie means by strategic placing on an upmarket resume that will help you get the job you want:

Stephanie Duncan

Qualifications: BA, MA (UCLA)

Skills: Project Management

Recent Employment History: Resources Officer, Acme Products, Oct - Nov 2006

Compare the information given in the upmarket resume with that given below for Stephanie’s downmarket resume. It is the same person, but you would never guess!

For the bill paying type of job, Stephanie uses a resume that accentuates her skills. She puts her skills at the top of the body of her resume and makes them bold so that they jump out at the person reading the resumes.

"For this type of job," says Stephanie, "your resume presentation is really not going to be as important as your skills, so don’t waste money getting a professional to type it unless, of course, you have money to throw around."

"The mistake many job seekers make when applying for a bill paying job," says Stephanie, "is that they include their qualifications. You will be considered over-qualified for the job and rejected outright if you do this. I appreciate that it’s tempting to show off - after all, we all worked hard for our qualifications - but the job you need in order to pay the bills wants a hands-on worker, not an Oxford Don."

"The aim of a downmarket resume is to get an interview for a job to pay the bills. In order to do this," says Stephanie, "you need to downgrade yourself. But only on paper. Nobody wants to employ a smarty for a downmarket job, but as soon as you are in the job, anything can happen. They could love you and promote you to a managerial position if you are lucky - so it's silly to get too hung up about downgrading yourself."

"One small thing," warns Stephanie. "With downmarket resumes for bill paying jobs, prospective employers like to see exact dates of previous employment so even if you were employed for two weeks somewhere, put that in and make sure you state the exact date you started and finished."

Following is an outline of the strategy Stephanie uses on her resume for the downmarket job she needs to pay the bills:

Stephanie Duncan

Skills: Typing 35 wmp, Customer Service, Team work

Recent Employment History: Mail Room Attendant, Acme Products, Oct 19 - Nov 9 2006

"Remove the name and if you can tell it's the same person then you are mighty smart," laughs Stephanie. "And if you can't then it just goes to prove that a little fudging can get you what you want. And I don't think I am being unethical with my two resumes. I am not lying, I am fudging. there's a difference."

job ad buzzwords

Priscilla is a single mom who, like a lot of women, was introduced to the Internet by her young son. She is currently looking for a job and thinks that the Internet is fantastic for refining a job search and researching buzzwords.

"My son nagged me for ages to get online at home," laughs Priscilla, "and I finally relented when I realized how useful the Internet is going to be for my job-search."

"I still read the newspaper ads, of course," says Priscilla, "but the Internet is so much faster. My main problem, though, with both newspaper and Internet job advertisements, is that I'm overwhelmed by all the jargon and buzzwords.”

She has simplified her job-search by finding out exactly what some of these buzzwords really mean.

"On the Internet I can refine my job-search by excluding certain buzzwords that I know are misleading," explains Priscilla, "and you can't do that with newspaper ads."

"A popular buzzword is team player," says Priscilla. "Unfortunately, just about every workplace these days seems to be run on team principles. If you are not willing to sacrifice your individuality for the common cause of the team - as I am - then you will not make a good team player. I don't apply for such jobs but I bet some really nasty people apply for team role jobs and actually win them."

“The trick for them is to pass the interview, get the job and then make everyone on the team miserable,” laughs Priscilla.

When Priscilla sees the team player buzzword, she reads a menial job, a job unsupportive of your well being and advancement.

"The only people who thrive in team environments are the manipulative types who get everyone else to do their work, and the sweeties who effectively have the same motive," says Priscilla. "So when a job advertisement includes the buzzword team player, I know they are looking for someone submissive and easily bossed around."

What about attention to detail? In the publishing and banking profession we are required to be hawks, but Priscilla wonders why it is required so much of other professions. And how does one gauge whether one is good at paying attention to detail?

"Everyone makes mistakes," says Priscilla. "and most workplaces have some sort of quality control in place to pick up errors before they cause major trouble. So why is it necessary to advertise for a hawk-eyed person?"

Priscilla believes that either they are discriminating against people with poor eyesight or the work is so boring that previous employees have fallen asleep on the job.

“Of course, recruiters these days cannot be blatantly discriminatory in their advertisements,” says Priscilla, “but if you look closely at advertisements you can read between the lines about the type of person they want, such as young environment or recent graduate. Nobody over 30 is going to want to answer an advertisement geared towards a younger applicant.”

Conversely, mature person turns off the under 30s although maturity, per se, has nothing to do with age.

Leadership skills is a buzzword that often describes a tough person, someone capable of firing their own mom. So, someone with the quiet leadership skills of a Nelson Mandela wouldn’t stand a chance.

“And that’s a shame,” says Priscilla, “because that’s the type of leader workers do admire.”

”I don't enjoy working late," says Priscilla, "so I avoid any job advertisement using drive, initiative and deadlines as buzzwords."

"Smoking is prohibited in all workplaces and public venues so I wonder about advertisers who feel it necessary to add non smoking workplace to their spiel," says Priscilla. "I think it could be a disincentive for social smokers to apply. The employer hates smokers!"

Priscilla admits that she spends more time surfing on the Net than using it for job-hunting, and this is probably true for anyone who uses the Net to find a job.

"I'm mixing business with pleasure," laughs Priscilla, "or should I say 'background researching' the job-market."

replaceable teamwork cogs

In her new workplace, Janice's greatest woe is excessive teamwork where nobody is indispensable and everybody is required to be able to do everybody else's work.

"I couldn't believe that I had no work that I could claim as my own," says Janice, "but job rotation or whatever they call it seems to be the new big thing in workplaces these days and as such it's pointless moaning about it or trying to find a position where I can have total control over what I do."

"Women who really hate the teamwork principle should start their own business - if they can - or change their attitude," advises Janice. "The rise of rotating teamwork and the fall of 'individuality ' seems to be a plain fact of working life these days."

"It has always been part of certain occupations - particularly the military - but now that management gurus have adopted it as the perfect way to run a commercial organization I suppose it is difficult to find a company that does not run on teamwork principles."

"While teamwork is absolutely necessary in occupations that require relying on another person for your life, such as space exploration," says Janice, "I am not so sure that it is the perfect way to run a commercial organization - but that's the way things are and I am coping with it as best I can."

"The theory behind teamwork - as applied to organizations - is that nobody is indispensable," explains Janice. "We are all cogs in a machine, and as such we are replaceable."

"Being considered replaceable means that we are unlikely to be given an area of work over which we have total control. No work will be identifiably ours."

"The advantage for management in having an organization run on these principles is clear," adds Janice. "If one person needs to be dropped from the team, the others can take over the workload."

Janice sees the whole purpose of teamwork as an attempt to take control away from individuals.

"You are expected to be versatile, capable of filling-in for anybody in your team," says Janice. "Decisions are made by team consultation, and tasks are rotated in order to ensure that nobody 'hogs' any particular job."

"With high staff turnover in workplaces it is vital that the show continues without interruption - and teamwork is how management ensures that the show does go on, with or without you."

"The disadvantage for management in having an organization run on excessive teamwork -- like the place I'm working in," says Janice, "is that very little gets done and what does get done is often shoddy. Nobody takes personal responsibility for anything they do. The old adage 'too many cooks spoil the broth' applies tenfold."

"I believe that when staff members do not have work that is identifiably theirs for which they are totally responsible they are not committed to the job, they are not interested in doing a good job and they will dump work on others without caring."

"Sure, working in a teamwork environment means that you get to pick up a lot of skills," says Janice. "This is a decided plus in an age where jobs might only last a very short time. The more skills you have, the more employable you become."

"If you are naturally versatile, like I am, then you will enjoy multiple tasks. If you aren't - and you are slow at learning new skills - then you will find it very difficult to fit in with a team."

With decisions being made by team consultation, Janice warns that you will find yourself attending a never-ending sessions of meetings, at the end of which nobody is really sure what the outcome was.

"If you are a go-getter, like I am," says Janice, "teamwork has the disadvantage in that it holds me back. It slows me down."

"Also, if you have a brilliant idea, and it is put into practice, you will not get credit for it. It is a team effort, remember?"

"Funnily enough, though," adds Janice, "when a mistake is found it is always sheeted home to one person - usually the fall guy in the team - whether or not he or she made the mistake."

"With teamwork there will always be one or more person who slacks, and there will always be one or more person who does twice as much as anybody else," sighs Janice. "And that person always seems to be me because I am a fast worker and believe in putting in a day's work for a day's pay."

Janice is convinced that most people are temperamentally unsuited for teamwork.

"Some people work better alone, some people enjoy doing their own work within a team structure and some people need the group dynamics to get them in a mood for work," explains Janice.

"It defies logic why a management system that suits only a small percentage of individuals is now in vogue in just about every organization worldwide," laughs Janice, "but since businesses are run to make a profit - not to suit the temperament of workers then I accept that it makes sense."

"Our task is to cope as best we can with a system of working together that may not come naturally to us," says Janice, "and if workplaces are becoming a nest of vipers, gossips, back-stabbers and slackers then we only have the misguided philosophy of teamwork to thank for this."

"While I appreciate that 21st century management prefers short-term employment contracts and favors staff that are versatile, highly skilled in many areas and totally replaceable," sighs Janice, "I still believe that there is nothing to compare with dedicated people doing one particular job that is identifiably theirs."