toxic verbal abuse

Piper is being verbally abused by her manager and co-workers and while they can see she is hurting, they don’t care and seem to take pleasure in the toxic situation they are creating for her.

"Words do hurt," says Piper. "Whoever said words don't hurt needs to spend time as a new recruit in a high stress working environment where you're treated as the office kicking dog rather than a valued, educated employee."

"Had I been physically kicked I could have taken the company to court," says Piper, "but emotional kicking is apparently not an offence because words are not supposed to hurt you!"

"I live in dread of losing my job and having to start a new job and going through all the learning curve trauma again," sighs Piper. "It's not the learning curve that fills me with dread but the new people I'll be working with – will they be abusive or helpful?"

"An older girlfriend told me that over time we become immune to verbal assaults at work," says Piper, "but I can't see myself ever getting used to being treated like this."

"What's the use of earning a living when the living you're earning is not worth living?"

"I suppose I could look upon the verbal abusers at work as damaged people – psychopaths or something – but there's no way I can look upon them kindly when I'm living with their verbal abuse for eight hours a day or more, every day of the week."

"Honestly," says Piper, "if work has to be an ordeal then I'd prefer to go home with limbs bleeding from birch lashings than a brain bleeding from tongue lashings."

Read more about Piper’s story:

sticks and stones

childhood flashbacks

education fails workers

the workplace ogre

Jin and her husband, Rick, were both out of work and she was thrilled to find another job before their money ran out -  until she discovered, among other things, that she has to work with a really nasty and abusive co-worker. A real ogre!

"I want to quit this job immediately, and find another job while my self-esteem is still high," explains Jan, "but Rick urged me to stick it out."

"If you are forced to spend eight hours with a person, day in day out," says Jin, "you want that person to be civil. I put up with years of abuse from my brothers and sisters because I was the baby of the family, and I’m not going to put up with this sort of behavior from co-workers. I couldn’t quit my family, but I can quit this lousy job - but I'm torn between my feelings and what Rick wants!"

"It's often only when you actually start a job and get to know everyone that you realize there’s a problem," says Jin. "Like most job applicants, I wasn’t given an opportunity to meet my prospective co-workers at the interview stage, but even if I had been given that opportunity they would probably have been on their best behavior."

"My interview was conducted solely via the HR Department," says Jin, "and I’m now wise to what this means."

 It means a veritable ogre is waiting for you!"

"There is no clause in my work contract upholding my right to a safe, harmonious working environment," says Jin. "Nevertheless, I feel that the company still has a duty of care to provide such for me."

"I am being constantly harassed, abused and belittled by a co-worker and I feel that my employer is in breach of some sort of duty towards me under occupational health and safety compliance laws."

"I’m not going to bother lodging an official complaint," says Jin. "Complaining got me nowhere as a kid, and it won’t get me anywhere at work either. In fact, it will make matters worse. It will become part of my work history and will jeopardize my future career."

"When employment gurus and all the ‘how to’ books out there maintain that the only acceptable reason for resigning a job is a desire to expand one's horizons, having achieved all one is capable of doing in one's present job and being regretful that one must leave such a wonderful job with a wonderful boss, manager and co-workers, people like me are too scared to complain and as a consequence bullying continues to flourish in workplaces."

"My co-workers are fully aware of what is going on," says Jin, "but just like people do not want to interfere in marital difficulties, people do not want to get involved in workplace difficulties either."

"They expect me to deal with it without complaining. That’s the culture to which I is expected to conform. And, having no support from my husband makes my situation even more miserable."

"There are always other factors involved in the decision to quit besides an abusive or hostile workplace," says Jin, "but it’s generally accepted that conflict with a boss, manager or co-worker underlies most resignations. I could put up with it - I think - from a boss or manager because they are not in my face all the time, but this ogre sits right next to me and I can't get away from her."

Read more of Jin's story:

marriage, a supportive partnership

unfair performance reviews

Vera is 29, single, sharing an apartment and recently changed jobs after receiving an unfair performance review from the new manager at her old job - an ogre who took an instant dislike to the vivacious and career minded young woman.

"I've kept copies of all of my performance reviews," says Vera. "Mostly they are glowing records of my performance - results exceeding requirements and expectations - but some are nothing more than records of dissonance between myself and a manager that have nothing whatsoever to do with my job performance."

"Granted," says Vera, "we do not live in a perfect world and in the workplace, as at school, and in families, we all face the prospect of being evaluated by some small-minded person who takes an instant dislike to us and abuses his or her position of authority to demean us."

"However, when performance reviews are used as a personal vendetta, or as a cunning method to get rid of staff, I believe that this is discrimination at its lowest."

"The only assignment from my schooldays that I decided to retain is an essay that bears the scrawl of a really small-minded man," says Vera. "I was twelve years old, blooming into adulthood, brimming with ideas and in love with life."

"Looking at the essay now I can appreciate that it is not exactly brilliant, but for a twelve year old it is still pretty good. And yet that moron who taught me English and History that year marked it with the distain and spite of someone who probably aspired to be a famous literary critic but was stuck for life in a job as a poorly paid teacher."

"His concluding remarks were: 'What a precocious child you are, this subject is far too complex for you - stick to dolls', says Vera. "At the time I had no idea what the word ‘precocious’ meant and even after I learned its meaning I did not take his comment as being the least bit complimentary. Having ideas beyond what is expected - by virtue of age, gender, social position or place on the career ladder - is both a curse and a blessing."

"People who do not aim to better the world, or themselves," says Vera, "have a far easier life than those who do. I wanted so much to shine in my own right. I was fed up being overshadowed by my sister and brother, and I was prepared to work twice as hard as anybody in order to make a mark on the world."

Vera is the type of person who derives enormous pleasure from accomplishing the impossible. Within workplaces run by managers who appreciate initiative, creativity and monumental hard work she was rewarded with almost embarrassing accolades when performance evaluations were carried out. However, within workplaces run by mean-spirited little Hitlers who want everything done according to the book, even when the book is riddled with worms, her performance reviews were distinguished by remarks very similar to those of her moronic English-History teacher.

"One of my first performance reviews," laughs Vera, "went as follows - ‘you have been employed here as a Researcher, not a Director or even a Manager, and in performing the duties of a Researcher you have consistently failed to meet the position's requirements and expectations’."

However, the performance review most remarkable for its gross unfairness is one Vera recently received from a place she had worked for two years very happily until a fair and pleasant boss was replaced by an ogre.

This woman took an instant dislike to Vera and another employee, who is also one of Vera’s roommates, and she virtually set them up to fail their performance reviews.

"She singled us out to be, in effect, her personal assistants," explains Vera, "and set out to make our lives misery. She was an absolute slave-driver. Given a whip, she would have used it on us!"

"The endless menial tasks she gave us to do bore no resemblance whatsoever to what we were supposed to be doing, but we carried them out with gritted teeth and tried very hard not to cave in with the stress and humiliation of it all."

"Shortly after, our performance reviews were held and the ogre produced a list of all the tasks she had given us - most of which we had forgotten about, or deemed too trivial to be given priority over our regular work - and proceeded to tell us that because we had not performed these tasks to her satisfaction she was recommending our discharge."

"The ogre's list had columns for the dates, times and results of each trivial little task she had given us," laughs Vera. "Our regular work was entirely overlooked."

"We were being judged on arbitrary tasks, totally unrelated to our roles!"

"In a court of law, this list would have been torn to shreds, but we weren’t interested in pursuing the matter legally. Life's too short for that sort of thing. We just quit! Since she had taken over, that workplace had become so toxic that it was exhiliarating to walk out of it for the last time and breathe some fresh air."

"This story would have had a different ending," says Vera, "had we not been financially secure. We could have been out of work for months. We could have been evicted from our apartment and got into all manner of financial and personal difficulties as a result of the discriminatory actions of that ogre."

When performance reviews are used unfairly as a means by which a mean manager or boss can get rid of staff he or she does not like personally, Vera believes that we should all be very wary of management changes as well as sudden changes in duties.

Vera believes that a bona fide performance review should cover the key responsibilities of a job, and should not include new duties that have been foisted onto you just prior to the performance review date.

"If new duties are to be allocated to you," says Vera, "then they should be raised at the performance review, thus giving you a chance to come up with some goals regarding how you intend to carry these duties out. For instance, if your new duties involve re-organizing the client and product databases then you would want to say something about how you intend to maintain quality and consistency, what extra costs the task would involve, and how long you plan on taking to do the job."

"In other words, you are setting goals for your new duties that will be assessed at the next performance review."

Bearing in mind that the whole purpose of a performance review is to see how you set goals and accomplish them, Vera believes that it is grossly unfair for a manager to review your performance on new duties that were foisted upon you prior to the review.

"It is a good idea, too," says Vera, "to be aware of other factors that are assessed in performance reviews because these can, and often are, used against you. But on no account should these factors take precedence over regular duties."

Immediately before performance reviews Vera accepts that some situations are deliberately 'contrived’ in order to assess one's ability to think on the spot.

"For instance," says Vera, "if you receive a telephone call from a very rude client watch what you say. The client is probably a plant or the call is being monitored!"

"Another contrived situation," confides Vera, "is a sudden and unexpected workload at 5pm - don't go home before prioritizing what's important and what's not!"

"A very loud and angry argument between two managers happening within earshot is another contrived situation," says Vera. "Don't pretend you didn’t hear it - you are expected to foster harmony by interceding with a quick-thinking resolution for their problem!"

Interpreting performance reviews causes a lot of confusion. Vera believes that very few people receive an ‘Exceeds Expectation’ performance review for the simple reason that many of the critical success factors are unknown, or are unreasonable to be expected to be met.

"Far more common," she says, "is an ‘Achieves Expectations’ performance review where you exceeded expectations in some areas, and just met them in others - or a ‘Needs Improvement’ performance review where you just met some, but not all expectations."

"As for the ‘Unacceptable’ performance review, well," says Vera, "it often says more about the manager carrying out the review than it does about you and if you remain in the company long enough to get your say in a performance review of superiors then by all means tell it like it is!"

"The purpose of performance reviews of superiors by staff is for those who have been judged to do some judging themselves, and believe it or not," says Vera, "but company executives do take notice of comments made about managers by staff."

"Poor reviews of managers by staff can, and do, get some lousy managers justifiably fired," laughs Vera, "and it was a pity we that didn’t have the opportunity to use our clout to get that ogre fired before she used her clout to get rid of us."

pressured to perform

Rita is 43 and has a husband earning a six-figure salary but claims that it does not make life any easier for her when she is under constant pressure to perform at work.

"We are working people with bills to pay, just like everyone else," says Rita. and I'm working because I have children to educate, not because I love my job."

Actually, Rita is beginning to hate her job.

She was recently given an ultimatum to meet a quota or lose her job.

"This ultimatum has put me under a great deal of pressure," says Rita. "but I appreciate that it's happening to more and more sales staff these days."

Rita says that to take this type of ultimatum personally -- as a reflection of our worth, or as an act of discrimination, rather than as an economic reality reflecting the current cut-throat competitive market -- only makes the situation worse.

"If we were no good, they would have fired us outright," explains Rita.

However, having the Sword of Damocles hanging over their heads puts Rita and her sales crew in an emotionally charged situation that is likely to affect their ability to meet any sort of quota - and this could lead to their being unfairly discriminated against.

"It is additional pressure in an already highly pressured job," says Rita, "and with all the traumas involved in raising children and having a husband who really doesn't want me to work, my life has become very messy."

She appreciates that in order to remain in business companies have to sell sufficient numbers of a product or service to meet costs.

"Looking at the competitive global economy, management would have to be a bunch of nitwits in order to fail to understand that sales are down primarily because competition from China is tough," says Rita, "and not because the sales staff is performing badly."

Rita and the sales crew feel that because the product they’re selling is hard to sell at the best of times, their company would do better to start diversifying rather than holding out and making life tougher for everyone by adopting a fire and retain policy according to performance.

"Because Annie and Olivia have always performed under par, they were fired outright," says Rita. "Myself and Carrie were put on warning because we have always just met quotas. Joe and Bill have always exceeded quotas, and were retained."

By firing Annie and Olivia the company cut costs, but this put a lot of extra pressure on the remaining sales staff.

Rita and Carrie were put on warning with words to the effect that if sales don't improve, their jobs are next to go; and things were not looking much better for Joe and Bill either.

"In these circumstances," laughs Rita, "Annie and Olivia were the lucky ones!"

Rita appreciates that the company is not in business to provide jobs for her or anyone else. It is in business to sell a product and if nobody is buying then jobs have to be sacrificed.

"This sort of lay-off is not an underhanded way of boosting profits," says Rita, "and as hard as it was to farewell Annie and Olivia nobody blames the company for doing what it has to do."

"What does constitute unreasonableness in this situation," says Rita, "is an expectation by management that sales quotas remain unchanged. With strong competition from China even the top performers are not going to meet the old quotas. So, if the quota does not change to reflect the times then it would appear that management is slave driving us for no good reason."

Rather than working her guts out trying to meet an impossible quota and being fired unfairly down the line as an incompetent saleswoman, Rita might well decide to quit while she is ahead and take her chances elsewhere - or maybe just stay home and be a housewife for a while.

Obviously, if the product is hard to sell in good times then in tough times it is going to be even tougher to flog the stuff.

"Rather than maximizing profits, I feel that management should aim to break even by setting a minimum sales quota," says Rita. "It would be appropriate, too, for management to take a salary cut. If Annie and Olivia had to be fired then it does not look good if management hangs on to its fat cat status. In tough times everyone buckles up, and if management is sincere then it will make sacrifices, too, but it doesn't look like that's the case."

Rita is doing some serious thinking. Her job is on the line. All of the remaining sales crew are critically analyzing the product they are selling and asking themselves whether their heart and soul is in it.

Do they believe in the product? Would they buy it themselves? Would they recommend it to their mother? Is it something people need?

They are also critically analyzing the company they are working for. Is it a good company? Does it pay well? Does it look after its employees? Is it well managed? Has it been in business long? Is it able to diversify?

Then there's the new quota. Is it one that they can reasonably achieve in the current economic situation? If they tried just a little bit harder could they actually make the numbers? Is there a market they have not yet explored? Can they do it? Do they want to do it?

And finally they are critically examining the economic situation and world affairs - short-term and long-term - paying particular attention to what jobs are available and are likely to remain in demand. Do they have the skills to do them, or can they easily gain such skills?

Depending upon the analysis, Rita should have a very clear feeling about what she needs to do.

"If I need to move on," explains Rita, "then it's better to do it early before the stress and strain of meeting impossible expectations wears me down."

Women like Rita, who have a lot of pressure and responsibilities at home, just can’t cope with increasing pressure at work and they may very well resign their jobs on this account only.

Being told to meet a quota or lose your job is, in itself, a pressure that few people can tolerate.

The option to quit, of course, is a luxury that married women can exert more easily than a single woman - especially a single working mother.

"In that respect," laughs Rita, "I suppose I am very lucky."

working for dr. pavlov

Jacqueline is 32, a stay home mom with three children and a degree in psychology that she decided to put to use by working online for a market research company.

"The work sounded interesting and the pay was not wonderful, but enough," says Jacqueline, "but what really attracted me to the job was that I could do it online, at home, in my own sweet time."

"The job would have been wonderful," laughs Jacqueline, "but their site was down half of the time and I wasted more time trying to log on than I did doing the work."

"One particular weekend I sat at my computer like a blithering idiot pressing 'enter' a hundred or more times trying to get the site to accept my logon and upload my work," explains Jacqueline, "and it was at that point that I started to think of Dr Pavlov."

"I rang the company and was told to be patient because they had technical difficulties," says Jacqueline, "but that didn't deter me."

"I had no idea what drove me to try again and again," laughs Jacqueline. "No, I do. It was that cursed 'try again later' message that appeared on my screen. It taunted me. It aroused in me some primeval survival instinct that I never knew I possessed."

"For that entire weekend my life was consumed by a dogged determination to outwit that 'try again later' message," sighs Jacqueline, "and at times I was sure I saw an evil Dr Pavlov's image onscreen smirking at me and mouthing 'try again' you poor deluded woman!"

"Finally, I got connected and I breathed a sigh of relief when I was able to upload my work," says Jacqueline, "but my relief was short-lived. because two days later I was hit with a keyboard problem. The period key was stuck and it was only by cutting and pasting a period from a saved document that I was able to type my work and communicate with the Net. Try typing www without a period after it and see how far you get!"

"That did it as far as I was concerned," laughs Jacqueline. "It was exactly my seventh week working online and I cannot remember ever experiencing so much hassle. It was bizarre. It was surrealistic. I was caught in a curious web of ecstasy and frustration and I needed to get away from it for a week in order to gain the necessary perspective to analyze the situation."

"I came to the conclusion that I wasn't cut out for online work."

"I also came to the conclusion that the Internet, itself, is a vehicle for an ongoing study into women, human nature, intelligence, addiction, stupidity, whatever," laughs Jacqueline. "The Net, with the millions of computers hooked into it, is the biggest reality show going - a vast social experiment - and all of the hapless humans staring into cyberspace are its unwitting participants."

"Even the jargon of the Net - they call us 'users' - is a term of addiction."

"Forget about Survivor and Big Brother and all of the other contrived nonsense out there," says Jacqueline. "The Net is the real thing and the mastermind behind it is probably the same Dr Salivating Pavlov who runs the market research company that tricked me into working for it!"

"And he's not just an ordinary Dr Pavlov - he's an evil Dr Pavlov," laughs Jacqueline. "And of course he's a man - no woman has the desire, capacity or time to design such an evil monstrosity as a website that is down half of the time. He wasn't interested in my work -- or that of the other women who supposedly worked for the company -- he was interested in us as 'users'."

"I believe that the site was based on the classical elements of a psychological experiment," confides Jacqueline.

"It was designed to manipulate its users into frenzied use making addicts and salivating dogs of us."

"Hardly a day went by when there wasn't some technical difficulty at that site," says Jacqueline, "and I truly believe that Dr Pavlov and his henchmen were collecting data to gauge our reaction to being denied access to the site. It was, after all, a market research company!"

"He was assessing how many of us accepted the crashes and technical difficulties with equanimity and a salivating desire to get back on the treadmill - oops wrong experiment - and how many of us asked sensible questions such as: What sort of system is this? What caused the crash? What is being done to prevent this sort of thing happening again?"

"Think about it," says Jacqueline. "Someone has to do market research on computer and Internet users and how much they tolerate. No wonder the hardware and software necessary for accessing the Net is so full of flaws. There's a patch for this and a patch for that -- and if cable doesn't play up then it's the monitor or keyboard. Why don't they get it right the first time?"

"I'll tell you why," laughs Jacqueline. "Dr Pavlov gets us addicted and then we're like mad salivating dogs dripping with eagerness to put up with whatever shock treatment he delivers to us."

"Sure," says Jacqueline, "money is involved but it's much more than that. Dr Pavlov may want to make lots of moolah from his cruel experiments on his 'users' but his intentions are bigger than that. He clearly wants to take over the world."

"When Dr Pavlov deliberately slows down the system with spam or a new virus he is causing so much salivating that the dribbles must short-circuit keyboards all over the world - and this is a clue," laughs Jacqueline. "If we all self-destructed on our dribbles - by electrocution - then Dr Pavlov would have wiped out most of the world's population leaving him free to start his own diabolical regime."

"I didn't know whether it was better to self-destruct on my dribbles or hang around to become part of the new regime," says Jacqueline, "so I hung around for a while longer, to keep an eye on things, and effectively became a hostage of Dr Pavlov and -- like the Stockholm hostage syndrome -- I began to like the guy, and that was a worry."

"The choice was mine," says Jacqueline. "Did I want to be part of this giant reality show as a dribbling dog or did I want to return to my humdrum life? Did I want to ride the roller coaster, or pop ping-pong balls into clown's mouths? Did I want to salivate, or dry up?"

"I lived in expectation of the next dastardly challenge that Dr Pavlov may have in store for me," confides Jacqueline. "If I didn't self-destruct on dribbles would he send killer sound waves through my computer to deafen me or killer visual effects to blind me?"

"Luckily for my sanity, my husband could see what was happening to me and told me to quit the job," says Jacqueline. "Dr Pavlov was most upset to lose me, and coyly pretended not to understand my reason -- 'that dribbles do not become me' -- and now I'm wondering what toxic job I am likely to face next."

sexual harassment

Candice is 26, married and pregnant, and grew up with a gay brother so it's nothing new to her that men are attracted to other men, but at the place where she works there are two older female managers who just can't accept that any man wouldn't find them attractive.

"I remember my childhood being perfect until my brother, Sam, announced he was gay at the age of 16," reflects Candice. "My parents were outraged, disowning him and forcing him out of the house and I felt so sorry for him and guilty that I couldn’t do anything to help him."

"When Roger joined my team at work he immediately reminded me of my brother Sam," sighs Candice. "It was his first job and like everyone else I thought I was working for an enlightened company, but things that happened to Roger made me realize how wrong I was."

"Roger made no effort to hide the fact that he was gay," explains Candice. "On the contrary, he wore his sexuality with pride and if he noticed that the attention he was getting from two of the senior women was anything other than playful he did not show it."

"He took all the ‘gay bashing’ in good humor, and because he laughed at my discomfort with the situation -- and refused to co-operate with me in lodging a formal complaint -- I decided to butt out and mind my own business."

"Roger did not complain. He actually seemed to enjoy it."

"You see," says Candice, "Roger was incredibly attractive and these two women were attracted to him. Hardly a day would go by without one of trying to tempt him into a sexual liaison."

"When it became clear that Roger couldn't be tempted, they got revenge by playing pranks on him."

"They hid his lunch in a filing cabinet one day and told him to follow his nose if he wanted to find it," says Candice, "and on another occasion they poured ink over the blue fabric of his chair causing him to walk around all day with a blue butt."

"Through these, and the many other ‘playful’ indignities that he had to put up with, Roger kept on laughing."

"Until the Xmas party."

"The company had opted for a pool of gifts, where each employee would pick a name out of a hat and buy something of particular interest for the person whose name they had picked," explains Candice. "On reflection, I feel that the name-picking exercise had been rigged. One of the gay bashing female managers got a slip of paper with Roger's name on it."

"A lot of snickering was heard between these two women in the days that followed," says Candice, "and I suspected that they had a surprise in store for Roger. But I had no idea of the lengths to which they would go to humiliate him."

"On the last day of work for the year, at the Xmas party, in front of invited clients and staff from the office next door, the gift exchange took place."

"The CEO was master of ceremonies and picked up one prettily wrapped parcel after another, calling up the recipient to collect and open his or her gift for all to see."

"There were lots of oooohs and aaaahs as some really nice gifts were unwrapped," says Candice, "and one by one the recipients returned to their seats wreathed in Xmas smiles."

"And then Roger's name was called."

"He bounced up to the front of the office, his face beaming with delight, and took the gift from the CEO."

"As he unwrapped it, I caught a glimpse of something pink, and then there were gales of laughter from the two women when Roger fully exposed what one of them had bought for him."

"It was a pair of ugly pink rubber gloves and a jar of Vaseline."

"Roger's face dropped. Tears welled in his eyes. I died in my seat for him."

"And then, as if to save himself from crying and bringing victory to his tormentors," says Candice, "he brushed the tears from his eyes and started to laugh as loudly as he could."

"Everyone laughed when Roger laughed," says Candice, "but I didn't. I still feel sad and uncomfortable when I remember this incident and it's unfortunate that Roger's good humor acted to hide his true feelings right from the very start."

"He assured me that he wasn't bothered by the behavior of the two senior women," says Candice. "but at some level he must have been, and I feel so bad for not following my intuition and doing something to stop them -- what, I don't know -- but I should have tried."

"It’s true that if you’re not part of the solution then you’re part of the problem, and I’m ashamed that this has happened to me twice -- first with my brother Sam, and then with Roger."

"Because I'm pregnant I'll be leaving this toxic environment soon," says Candice, "but I worry about what will happen to Roger."

"I feel that had Roger spoken out from the first day of this harassment, rather than hiding his true feelings, the situation would not have escalated to the point where he was publicly humiliated," says Candice, "but when you're starting a new job I guess you don't want to rock the boat."

"Sexual harassment is something that men are often accused of by women," says Candice, "but it happens to them, too. And when you’re on a team, working closely with people every day, vulnerable people do get picked on and if everyone just stands by and lets it happen then they are as guilty as the perpetrators. And that's why I feel bad."

"These two women would have been the first to scream blue murder had any man even inadvertently offended their female sensitivies," says Candice, "and knowing that they gained their positions of power by affirmative action it's inexcusable that they would take advantage of it to harass a poor gay male in his first job."

abominable conditions

Brandy is a single mom and an independent contract worker taking on various assignments throughout the year. She sees abominable conditions in some workplaces that make her glad she doesn't work there permanently.

"I choose to do contract work because I've never, ever come across a company that I'd like to work for as a permanent employee," explains Brandy, "and it also allows me plenty of time between jobs to be with my kids."

"I earn good money when I'm working," explains Brandy, "but I work like a slave for it and I couldn't do it 365 days a year like some poor women have to."

"Contract work has its downside," says Brandy, "but it’s ideal for single mothers because it pays well - giving you enough money to support yourself between jobs - and if you come across a really toxic job you don’t have to put up with it for long."

Brandy feels very sorry for women trapped in permanent jobs where the people or conditions are abominable.

"I do word processing," says Brandy, "and I'm often working in a team where one or more women are really suffering from the plague of word processors - eye strain."

"Even with hourly breaks to prevent eye strain, the strain of dealing with fine-print or highly detailed work takes its toll on word processors," says Brandy, "even on young eyes like mine."

"I've been in places where older women are practically blind because employers refuse to inject a bit of variety into their jobs to protect their eyesight, and they're too scared to complain fearing they'll get sacked."

Another problem for word processors is poor lighting. In one place where Brandy worked the lighting was so bad that she had to use two lamps on her desk in order to see what she was doing.

"As a result of the heat the lamps generated I was hot and bothered all day, and when I asked to be moved I ended up with a glare problem."

"Some workplaces are just not designed with adequate lighting, and some employers are so mean that they refuse to provide word processors with glare-proof monitors," says Brandy, "so I'm glad to get out of those places real fast."

Another problem Brandy has is working with really old files.

"You get to handle a lot of old files doing word processing and in one job I not only had to inhale the dust all day but I also had to put up with dust mites eating me to death," laughs Brandy.

"Also I had to cope with the fumes of document chemical treatments - to which I am highly allergic. I went home every night with red eyes, a runny nose and an allergic rash all over my arms. Talk about toxic jobs - that one was awful - and I felt so sorry for the women who are being literally poisoned at that job day in day out."

"Anyone working in museums, libraries, archival or records management situations or musty old law firms has to deal with this problem." explains Brandy. "My experience has taught me that there doesn't exist a dust-free environment wherever stacks of books or printed material abound."

Another place where Brandy worked had such abominable bathroom facilities that the local authorities closed the place down shortly after she left.

"There were only two toilets - one male, one female - for a staff of seven males and three females, and a countless number of visitors," explains Brandy, "and quite often the men had to use the women's bathroom. How's that for teamwork?"

"More disgusting, though," laughs Brandy, "was that the place had no provision for towels and replenishment of toilet tissue and soap. I wouldn't want to work in a place like that permanently."

Notwithstanding environmental work hazards, Brandy has also experienced psychological hazards.

"When you have small children at home you imagine you're not short of company," says Brandy, "but I once accepted a six-month contract working totally on my own and I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I refuse to work on long-term contracts now. A month at any place is quite enough!"

"At first it was bliss working alone - out of bitchy teamwork environments," says Brandy, "but as time wore on I became incredibly lonely and believe it or not but I started talking to myself. That shows you how stressed I was."

"It was bad enough not having anybody to discuss my work with," says Brandy, "but when you’re a single mother with young kids at home you really depend upon work to give you some adult conversation. Being in solitary confinement for eight hours a day with just the telephone for company was a really sad working experience."

A lot of government work is done on short-term contracts these days, and this presents Brandy with another sort of problem she would not want in a permanent job.

"Most contract jobs require me to sign a non-disclosure agreement," says Brandy, "but some government jobs are so secretive that they are scary. Imagine not being able to tell your friends and family what you do, where you work or how your day went?"

"Unless you enjoy living a cloak-and-dagger existence," Brandy laughs, "you really want to avoid accepting a job where the work is so secretive that you cannot tell family and friends what you are doing."

"I also hate jobs where I don't have enough work to do," says Brandy, "because what usually happens is that I end up being seconded to help someone else with their workload, thus putting me in an inferior position."

Normally, Brandy only likes to work for a month or so at any place, but she recently accepted a three-month assignment because it was a newly created job. It sounded interesting and she accepted it. Unfortunately, being given no job specification and told the job was special was merely a ploy to get poor Brandy to do a whole lot of duties that she would rather not do, and nobody else wanted to do them either!

"Even with a job specification some employers will insist that you change duties somewhere along the line," explains Brandy. "They can do this because a little clause at the bottom of your job specification says: 'other duties as required'."

"If I find myself filling-in for a receptionist who never returns from holiday or sick-leave - or if I am promised a good project that is given to someone else - I get wise and move on," laughs Brandy.

"It's really important at the start of a contract job to ensure that you're being employed as X and don't want ‘other duties as required’ to end up employing you as Y," says Brandy.

"One of the good things about doing contract work," explains Brandy, "is that you’re often given autonomous work and can get on with it without fuss. In my present assignment, however, I have to make daily decisions requiring an okay from the boss and he is never available!"

"When your boss or supervisor is inaccessible you are unable to do your job properly and misery sets in fast," says Brandy. "If you go ahead and make a decision on your own bat, you risk being slammed for taking initiative."

"I admit that as a contract worker I probably experience more stressful work situations in a year than someone in a permanent job experiences," says Brandy, "but to me it is far less stressful to experience a variety of stressful working situations than the same stressor day in day out - and besides which I get to take off loads of time between jobs to rest up."

"Also, guessing what my next problem is going to be at my next job has become a bit of a game," laughs Brandy. "It never ceases to amaze me how inventive employers can be when it comes to devising miserable or toxic conditions for their staff."

"I’ve never had a nice, stress-free job and I don't believe one exists," says Brandy, "and, let's face it, works sucks and I’d rather be home looking after my children."

co-worker sabotage

Lara is 27, married with three children, and severely stressed in her present job by her work being sabotaged by a jealous co-worker.

"If someone's nose was put out of joint by your being hired or promoted," says Lara, "that person will sabotage everything you do and try to make your life misery. I’m covering my back, taking precautions against losing any more important work, backing up on disk everything I do on a computer and generally not allowing the saboteur to undermine my confidence - but it’s still a very stressful situation for me."

"This is a different kettle of fish from a hostile or an abusive person," says Lara, "because the saboteur is very nice to my face. She laughs about the sabotage and denies doing it, but I know it’s her. The sabotage is mostly practical jokes at my expense, but it has been going on for a long time and I am sick and tired of it."

"I had hoped," explains Lara, "that after the saboteur got to know and respect me that she’d realize it wasn’t my fault that I got the promotion she wanted, but she’s been doing it for so long now that I suspect she’s damaged, possibly mentally unstable."

"I haven’t reported the sabotage," explains Lara, "because I didn’t want to risk being labeled a ‘complainer’ and I thought it would stop one day, and now I don’t know what to do."

"Actually," admits Lara, "I feel sorry for the saboteur - she’s a middle aged woman with little opportunity because of her age and health problems to win the promotion I got. The company is at fault, really, because it processed the promotions while she was in hospital. I’m copping her toxic anger, when it should really be directed at management."

"This whole situation reminds me of my older sister who gave me hell during my childhood because I was the baby of the family and got all the attention," sighs Lara. "When I was old enough to realize how hurt my sister was I felt sorry for her, but it didn’t do any good. She still doesn’t speak to me. And, like my present situation, it’s not my fault!"

"As I see it," says Lara, "my work situation is caused by a failure of management to address the saboteur's grievances, and my childhood situation was caused by my parents’ failure to address my older sister’s grievances. They should have treated her fairly. Why should I cop all the flak?"

Like most working moms, Lara has to deal with constant crises at home and really cannot cope with difficulties at work. She’s working to supplement her husband’s salary and if her situation at work doesn’t resolve itself then she would prefer to be transferred, or find another job, or just not work at all.

"Life’s too short to put up with all this," sighs Lara. "I feel that the older woman had a prior right to the promotion - she’s been with the company longer than I have - and I really don’t want to be the person depriving her of more money and prestige. Mostly, though, I just don’t want to be in a job where I have to constantly watch my back, waiting for the next round of sabotage."

"If I ever look for another job," says Lara, "I’ll be asking at the interview stage if anyone currently employed by the company has been overlooked for the position I’m applying for. The prospect of putting up with another saboteur would be awful!"

"My husband thinks I’m silly for not reporting the woman," sighs Lara, "but until you’re in a situation like I am you can’t say how you’ll react. I suppose I could set traps for the woman and catch her red-handed, but what good would that do? She’s pleasant enough to my face now, but if I came down hard on her she would turn into a madwoman and make me more miserable than I am already."

"Even as a little kid, when my big sister was hiding my school books and tearing up my homework," explains Lara, "I just put up with it. What else could I have done?"

alien territory

Vanessa is 38, married with two children, and her working life was great until the small accountancy company she had worked for since graduating was taken over by a big corporation.

"I was thrilled to pieces when I heard about the take-over," admits Vanessa. "It meant more prestige, more benefits, more money and more opportunities for advancement."

"My joy turned to dismay when the move took place and I was not assigned an office of my own as befitting my seniority," says Vanessa, "and if that wasn't bad enough I was separated from my former colleagues and seated by myself in a section of the new workplace that had no bearing at all on what I was doing."

"I felt like I was in alien territory," explains Vanessa. "The people in the section I was seated with were pleasant enough, saying good-morning and good-night, but they didn’t include me in their normal work chit-chat and I suppose they resented my presence among them."

"Also," adds Vanessa, "because I wasn’t working alongside people who were doing the same work as myself, I missed out on their normal team activities, too."

"A whole day could pass by without anyone speaking to me," says Vanessa, "and if I didn't make a point to visit the stationery room and chat to the young girl there I'd go mad.”

"I'm sure she's as embarrassed as I am about the chats we have - her being a clerk and me being an accountant - but that's about the only social life I get around here."

"Whenever I need administrative assistance or feedback," says Vanessa, "I have to walk up a floor and right to the back of the building in order to talk to my old boss and the admin team. Already they are treating me like a stranger!"

"This is turning out to be a toxic situation for me to be in," says Vanessa. "I am losing interest in my work and I feel very strange being with people, and yet not being with them."

Read more about Vanessa's situation:

A lonely only child

Deliberate alienation

verbal agreement lies

If there's one thing Kate wants every working person to know it's that verbal work agreements aren't worth the paper they're not written on.

"In my last casual job I was promised a permanent job after four weeks," explains Kate, "and naturally I worked my butt off for four weeks and then they had the cheek to tell me that I wasn't fast enough to be given a permanent job."

"I put in more work than anyone else at that place and they knew that," says Kate. "They just lied to me to get me to work like a slave for them. They had no intention of giving me a permanent job."

"I couldn't sue them or anything because I didn't have anything in writing," explains Kate. "It was a verbal agreement, a ‘my word against theirs’ situation."

"Even casual workers are entitled to some sort of written advice regarding terms of employment," says Kate, "and without that piece of paper you don't have a real job and you risk being exploited."

"In fact," says Kate, "if you're really unlucky you may not even get paid."

"Verbal agreements are really risky because you won’t have a proper job with all of your entitlements guaranteed," says Kate, "The only benefit is that without a written agreement you are really under no obligation to give notice to quit."

"I had one really bad casual job on a verbal agreement that I quit after my first week's pay and never went back," laughs Kate. “So, I was lucky I could do that and get away with it.”

"I know that some employers are struggling," says Kate, "but damn it, so am I, and exploiting me for their benefit is beneath contempt."

Read more by Kate on this subject:

toughen up labor laws!

temp agencies take away hassles

working on trial

set up to fail

Elise is married with teenaged children living at home and she works as a freelance editor. The work is usually straight-forward and stress-free, but a recent six month contract assignment with a well-known publishing company was so stressful that she nearly had a nervous breakdown.

"It did not occur to me that a department in a big company would still be in the Dark Ages computer-wise," says Elise, "so it was a big shock to start work and be confronted with a DOS prompt rather than the familiar Windows screen."

"It had been well over ten years since I had worked with a DOS based system," says Elise, "so I had to request help to get started."

Someone very reluctantly came to her assistance, but worse was in store for her.

"The documents to be edited were formatted in a very early version of Word Perfect requiring keyboard moves about which I knew nothing," complained Elise. "Without a mouse I was a dead duck."

A request for training in DOS Word Perfect eventually led to some unhappy looking guy turning up and whizzing through the basic functions faster than she could comprehend.

"After ten minutes of this sort of hopeless training," sighs Elise, "I requested a manual and half an hour later one appeared and I struggled on as best as I could."

By the end of her first day she had learned enough to get by, but wait for it - there was more misery in store for her!

"Apparently this department had its own peculiar style of editing," says Elise, "and I didn't discover that everything I had done was not in accordance with it until two weeks later when the Managing Editor returned from leave."

After reasonably inquiring why she was not informed of the peculiar style that differed from every other place she had worked, the Managing Editor blamed Elise for not asking someone!

"Hello?" complained Elise. "How on earth was I supposed to ask someone when I did not know that what I was doing was not in accordance with the department's peculiar style?"

"I have no idea why this vital information was not given to me upon commencement," says Elise, "and anyone who has ever had to re-do two week's worth of work through no fault of their own will appreciate how angry and frustrated I was at the end of the first month."

"With five months to go, I wondered what was next and I didn't have to wait too long to find out," sighs Elise. "To add insult to injury, the Managing Editor then decided in the third month to change the style slightly to make it conform with industry standards - the style I had first used - and I had to re-do the lot.

"I felt totally stressed as I had no control whatsoever over my work," says Elise. "I've never hated anyone before in my life but I came close to absolutely despising the Managing Editor for putting me through such a humiliating and stressful situation."

"I just hope that telling my story will help someone else avoid a similar toxic situation."

Read more by Elise on this issue:

denied training
Hit the ground running